You want the whole world to know of your silent suffering in the hands of the ex-boyfriend, girlfriend, hamster or employer.

You want your relatives to bear witness to your holiday photographic skills because your mother refuses to hang them in the living room.

You want to make friends and swap files with those who secretly fancy Buttercup.

You want to be Belle de Jour and get that publishing contract even if rejection letter #362 is staring at your face. Or maybe you just want to tell everyone how upset you were when you were forced to abandon your bacon sandwich five kilometres away from the school compound.

What do you do?

You blog.