What is becoming of this country - women get abducted from open places in broad daylight and are assaulted, raped and/or murdered. Detainees end up dying in prisons or lock-ups. Local governments using public kitties like their own. Businessmen reward themselves obscenely for jobs badly done. Marriages treated with such disdain that a short messaging service ( SMS ) is all it takes to end it.

Why have things broken up so badly? I am not a social scientist, but I suspect little things go a long way. Someone once came up with the chaos theory to explain seemingly unrelated events. The present scenario has a lot to do with the way we handle the little things in life.

I suspect unless we go through the most fundamental of changes ourselves, that unless we start to do the right thing - and not just the convenient or efficient or reasonable - we will get used to wrongs. Our kids get used to them and grow up thinking certain wrongs are alright.

When enough people think some wrongs are okay, you eventually get enough wrongs to wonder why things seem to be breaking down.

Like how we get a speeding or parking ticket and give it away to someone who knows some police chief somewhere, to be taken care of. Like how we get our ' kopi-o ' driving license. Like how we take home office stationery. Like how we double park. Like how we get jobs and positions because of who instead of what we know.

I suspect once we cross the line, things get a little blurred. We send our kids the message that certain actions are okay if the ends justify it. We tell ourselves we are reasonable people who do the reasonable things.

Change governments? Change systems? Change the rules? No. We should start with ourselves. Stop bribing the cops; pay those fines. Find the correct place to park and walk the rest of the way. Be good enough to get the job. Do the right thing.

Until we do, we shouldn't ask ourselves why things seem to be breaking down - it is because we have not tried to hold things up ourselves.