Most Read
Most Commented
Read more like this
mk-logo
From Our Readers

When I was a knee-high to a grasshopper, growing up in a typical Malay family, to me, meant knowing how snow actually looked like only by way of watching ‘Home Alone’ repeatedly when Christmas was approaching in December. It was the time of the year when all strict rules on reading and memorising tables became slightly relaxed.

Being raised by a couple of parents whose puritanical values in educating us were more than obvious when exam results were released means that books and newspapers had to be our best of friends and the only choice I had then was to treat them as living beings so that our ‘friendship’ would not appear vacuous and lifeless.

The best part of all was the series of inferiority attack that came screening down my way each time I sauntered past any kids my age who spoke English as fluent as Kevin Mccallister in ‘Home Alone’ I told you earlier on I spent my year-end school break with.

It was not just inferiority, mind you. It was a nasty mix of inferiority, anger, anxious, and envy. I felt inferior because I could not speak English at all and I was afraid if I tried to utter a word or two, I would get sneered at. I was angry because I could not understand English at all, and despite any efforts, I still failed.

I felt anxious because I tried so hard to make heads or tails of their conversation, but to no avail, and to crown it all, I felt angry, very angry, simply because they could be happily joking about among themselves and there I was, walking aimlessly with my minds heavily preoccupied with a very question I did not know how to even start finding an answer for; Why can I not be good at English?

The last straw that broke the camel’s back was during our visit to Singapore. My aunt brought us to a zoo for animals show. I remember very vividly that the trainer made this cute little seal balance a ball on its nose for a while before it threw that ball to the audience and anyone who caught the ball would have to come forward to collect his candies.

But, before any candies were to be given away, the trainer and the lucky ones would exchange pleasantries in front of everyone and several questions would have to be answered.

As I was unblinkingly admiring the splendour of the night, never once had I foretold that what happened next was about to change me from what I was then to what I am today. No sooner had I settled on my seat after frantically prancing about at the sight of the menagerie at one side of the zoo than the ball thrown by the seal suddenly landed flat on my lap.

Potential lifetime embarrassment

I felt clueless. No amount of fear could be juxtaposed with the utter horror of potential lifetime embarrassment. Other kids would have maniacally made a beeline for the trainer to collect the gifts had they caught it, but I considered myself as an embarrassing exception. In fact, I tried so hard to not want to be noticed at all.

Amid rolling stadium lights in search of that ‘lucky ones’, the best decision that I thought would spare me such deadly public humiliation was to let go of the ball to a boy seated next to me, and without much thought, I did. Despite the decidedly unbelievable shock, he however gleefully proceeded to collect his candies and I just looked on, emotionless.

Years went by and never once have I forgotten what had happened that night. Looking back, it was the night that made realise the importance to snap out of the unhealthy dilemma and keep walking forward with one’s head held so proudly high without an ounce of hesitation or even a thought to halt.

I may not be perfect. In fact, I am not perfect at all. But I am perfectly aware of the importance of learning and not giving up. True, it is always easier said than done, but hey, what is precious is often a Sisyphean task, is it not?

Trust me, it is doable. Have your dictionary that has grammatical explanations in it, literally, with you all the time, like I do. Flip through it in search of any meaning of any words you happen to come across, like I do. Make a ‘5 Words A Day’ list and consult with it as most faithfully as possible in your attempt to jog your memory, like I do.

Have some kindness to approach any lost English-speaking tourists and help them with ways around your city, like I do. They get to reach their destination of choice safely, and you get the benefit of learning a few words, or even a lasting friendship, like I do.

Most importantly, do ignore any mockery by others just because you are seen to be visibly trying to pronounce the word you just learnt out loud at any random places such as bus stands, train stations, or even McDonald’s - like I do.

Broadening my social horizon

Learning English does not automatically make one a fair dinkum English. Neither does it make one less of a person he always is. Personally, learning English has tremendously broadened my social horizon to expose myself to the wealth of other people’s culture and widened my opportunity to interest others in what my very own culture has to offer.

There is no end to unearthing the beauty of learning the English language and I am still working very hard to improve my command of the language because I believe my fellow brethren from other parts of the globe are as equally curious to know what my cultural identity is rife with as I am theirs.

Oftentimes, I am deeply perplexed with how one can conveniently assert that his personal gratification on priding himself on being a professional is not unmixed with the elation at the fact that learning English is not important in the sphere of his profession.

At the end of the day, those who honour the importance of learning will be very happy to eventually reap the fruit of the knowledge and those who are reluctant to learn because of fear of the language will shudder at a thought of sowing the seeds of ignorance. After all, did Hermione Granger of the ‘Harry Potter’ saga not warn us that ‘fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself’?

Come to think of it, if only I was brave enough to have come forward, I would have been that ‘lucky ones’ to have gotten the candies from the trainer, but alas, I was not, because I did not have such courage.

The same dynamics applies in the English speaking context. With prospering economies and mushrooming intellectual doyens across the globe, one cannot discount one very important aspect to successfully achieve this goal; a perfect communication skill, and having that said, one is definitely doomed to suffer from a withering quality of life if his command of the language leaves a lot to be desired.

I may not have gotten the candies that lucky boy had that night, but I had since learnt the most invaluable lesson in my life, thanks to the show, the trainer, the lucky boy, and even to the cute seal, and that lesson is a lesson of courage and persistence, both of which are very aptly etched on my mind coupled with a strong mental determination to always learn and want to learn English, without breaking stride, and never by fits and starts.

That to me, is the real gift everyone who works hard deserves, way worthier than the gift of candies I would otherwise have had an acute delirium about that night.


AZLAN ABDUL RAZAK is a practising lawyer who describes himself as a fervent advocate for women's rights.

ADS