The current buzz on ‘caning the child shall end parents up behind bars’ has certainly raised much attention among us as it is much tied up with culture of upbringing children well, of course in the Asian style...
Caning when viewed in a psychological perspective it can be divided into two;
1. Threatening to cane a child if they do a mistake is more towards an act of conditioning the child to avoid them doing a mistake, or in other words to condition them to abstain from a certain wrongdoing
2. Caning the child after the child commits a mistake or committing a pre-warned act is an act of punishment which is a negative reinforcement of their misbehavior by associating the ‘pain’ element from the caning with the wrongdoing, i.e. they are conditioned towards ‘if you do a mistake, you shall experience pain’.
Associating punishment and pain is the key Asians or Malaysians use to condition their children towards training them to avoid wrongdoings. On the other hand the act against caning originates from the western perspective which puts much emphasis on rights of children and further, it’s a fact that caning, when misused, could also result in a scarring psychological impact among children.
The key here in this issue is to draw a line between cultures and the practicality of caning towards its effects, if caning is to be used as a conditioning tool to prevent wrongdoings of children it should be done as a last option and only modestly, when it is really necessary and when there are no other option possible, perhaps.
Caning should never be the first option compared to threatening to cane as a conditioning method, i.e. associate the fear of pain rather than the pain with the wrongdoings.
Children should be approached with explanations and discussions over the impacts of their wrongdoing, this is more appropriate with the current inquisitive-minded generation of kids.
Gone are the days we raise kids using fear where they get beaten up without even knowing the reason for the beating. Such actions if committed today would leave a severe emotional or psychological scar in kids who would eventually turn them into a violent or an aggressive person upon their adulthood.
Excessive force or beating on children would surely result in unwanted circumstances such as bullying; domestic violence, gangsterism, etc, as researches proves children raised with violence tend to resort to violence once they are grown-ups.
At the same time, being Asians, conditioning the kids with punishments are too deeply embedded in cultures and even in the religious teachings. Thus to wipe off such action in total may not be possible at an immediate effect. Such change may take snail paced-time provided there is a substantial alternative, for it can be proven effective, till then moderation and personal justification in and over caning shall be the only solution...
CR SURENTHIRAN PILLAI is a registered counselor, certified practitioner and an executive member of Perkama international.