Often at university, I was labelled as a liberated feminist around my circle of friends. Going for some activist meetings and advocating for the women’s movement were part of my blood during my studies.

Constantly speaking out on any incidents of domestic violence, gender discrimination and unequal rights for women in the public sphere. And, definitely irked at what Simone de Beauvoir in ‘The Second Sex’ says, “A woman is not regarded as an autonomous being.” A woman is relatively dependent on ‘him’, who is a man.

In addition, it became entirely irritating when she added that, “Man can think of himself without woman. She cannot think of herself without man.” These are all nonsense and definitely need to be revised if it were to be applied in our modern world nowadays.

In recent years, the UN has continued to campaign for solidarity to make men and women, girls and boys are equal. Hence, frankly speaking, I have supported the ‘HEFORSHE’ campaign since 2010, as a way to take action against gender discrimination and violence in order to build a more just and equal world.

For a feminist, any challenge will not be a great deal for herself .The more you test her courage, the more fearless she would be. Therefore, once you say, “Hey, you are feminist and independent right, so man up!” Eventually, this statement means you are not only challenging my ability as a woman but also my dignity that every female definitely can do, like what males do.

Yes, it sounds very egoistic and contemptuous for a woman to do anything on their own, especially when they hardly accept that only the masculine sex are able to do everything in the world. Indeed, why shouldn’t women become lady bosses in the corporate sectors, why not women in the military, why not women in politics, why not women in construction engineering, etc.

German philosopher Immanuel Kant would answer, “Because she is weak...” and added with his phrase in ‘Observations on the Feeling of the Beautiful and the Sublime’, that “man should become more perfect as a man and the woman as wife...” Evidently, it shows that back then, women were only limited to be in the private sphere taking care of the children and man.

As a result, it lastly turns to Hegel to validate woman as the Other or object in fact as inessential; man as the Subject who is essential. Hence, it is a certainty to say that the world has always been constructed by man for ages, which gives rise to many feminist theorists who keep questioning on where are the women in public sphere?

However, I find it a very appealing issue that women are seen as the essential in the bosom of the family, where women can become the Subject for the children.

Here, I want to touch on feminists and marriage. I condone for what a lifelong feminist, Tammy Bruce, says about the word ‘NO’ as one of the pillars in 21st century feminism. A woman should not be afraid to speak out ‘NO’; it is about ‘NO’ to be defined by anyone else, not by feminists and indeed by men’s sexual desires, which is female power.

Redefining the power of ‘NO’

But, I would like to redefine the power of ‘NO’ in marriage for feminists. They think that women deserve to say ‘NO’ to being a full-time mother and wife, arranged marriage and in fact a single woman for the rest of her life. A young Muslim woman can say ‘NO’ to early marriage, even in fact jihad as a wife or mother would be promised with the greatest paradise in the Afterlife.

Nevertheless, I would argue it is simply due to the phrase of saying that marriage is a gamble. If it does, then why is there so much hope for what an independent woman feels it is not worth it? Why they should trust the uncertainty of her partner (male) who often see women as the second sex who are weak, futile and cannot think for herself without men?

Thus, for any feminist out there, what is your plan? Starting to save money on marriage preparation with a ‘man’? Or possibly, buying an insurance scheme for your old age as a single person in the future?

What do you think?

P.S. This is my personal opinion as an ordinary woman studying in the Land Down Under.