It has been a sort of our family tradition that every Merdeka Day, my parents, brothers, sisters, their respective spouses and children would all gather at my house.

It's not so much that we are a passionately patriotic lot - with the exception of my father - but that out of a happy coincidence, my first born has the good fortune of sharing his birthday with the nation.

Apart from Aidil Fitri, Merdeka Day is the only day of reunion where almost everybody is present. So it has been for some 18 years.

It has also became like a ritual that, before the meal, my father would call all his children and grandchildren to gather around him for a 15-20 minute tazkirah (reminder) on how to live our lives productively and to be good parents bringing up well rounded children.

He would advise those still unmarried to settle down quickly and start a family, and tell his grandchildren about the importance of education, of being obedient and keeping away from bad influences, and that their television watching should be strictly controlled.

My father, being a staunch nationalist, would conclude with the importance of being loyal citizens, of giving back to the nation for the educational opportunities given to us, and of loving the nation's leaders, past and present.

This year, we thought we would have a barbecue in the garden instead. I had already imagined the main points of my father's speech, now that my three boys and my sister's two eldest are teenagers, with my first two attending college.

Over the past year or so, my father had been very concerned with the alarming rise in crimes committed by young people, of children and teenagers being victims of sexual crimes, and moral degeneration among the young generation of Malays.

Every time we went back home for the weekend he would remind my boys of these things. However, his anticipated speech was never delivered, for my father passed away after a brief illness two weeks before Merdeka Day.