So Malaysiakini.com is finally celebrating its five years of existence.

Five years is a long time in a person's life. It is even longer for any attempt to do something really meaningful for Malaysia, especially when the project is shunned by the people with political power and organised money. The online news portal, malaysiakini , falls snugly into this unenviable category.

Of course, any meaningful project that springs from the flickering half-light of civil society in Malaysia has to be very difficult and daunting. That is why there are so few of them around, and that is why the civil society is forever germinating, and never finding fruition.

We know the main reason why this is the case. Ours is a strange brand of democracy. We have all the trappings of a first-world political system, but the essence of a feudalistic primitive third-world political culture.

In this anachronistic rojak concoction, the ancient impulse to centralise power in the hands of a patriarchal oligarchy or a wise old tribal chieftain gets the upper hand over modernist instinct for individual fulfilment of life through the agency of the civil society.

Something like malaysiakini that seeks to express the aspiration for this modernist idea of an independent media goes against the grain of our traditional values. It dares to challenge conventional wisdom, stake a claim in creating values, and pronounce truths contrary to tribal traditions. In the eyes of those sitting at the apex of our political food-chain, malaysiakini must appear alien, subversive, and heretical.

Given the web of invisible shackles around the body and soul of our citizens, from the cradle to the grave, in all nooks and corners of their public and private life, the existence of malaysiakini can at best be tolerated by those guardians of public order and national security.

Nevertheless, this anomaly to the norm must be watched closely, and monitored like the menace that it can become, for, if left unchecked, malaysiakini could very well blaze a blinding trail in this savage darkened jungle that is Malaysian politics.

Over-zealous storm-troopers

Therefore, it would be news indeed if some over-zealous robot-like storm-troopers of the state security apparatchik have not descended upon the premises of malaysiakini sometime in the past, and carted away such means of production of supposedly seditious news and views as computers and journalists.

The idea there, I surmise, was not aimed at mere disruption of daily operation in malaysiakini . It was meant more for stamping this form of alternative media with negative connotation, while instilling within the subconscious mind of the readers and writers alike the threat of state violence against them. It was naked power speaking, pronouncing moral judgement on those citizens who dared to question the moral legitimacy of that power.

Shortly after that, the malaysiakini management had to come out with a public announcement that information pertaining to readers and subscribers will always be kept confidential, meaning that you are quite safe to log onto the website without peril of imprisonment.

That the public assurance was needed is the reason why the flame of civil society is still flickering; the regime of fear always works in Malaysia, even among the enlightened clientele of malaysiakini . It would be almost a waste of time to quote the tired clich that there is nothing to fear but fear itself.

Michel Foucault performed an autopsy on the anatomy of fear by focusing on the panopticon, a prison design invented by Jeremy Bentham. As long as prisoners are conscious of being watched everywhere all the time, they will discipline themselves without having to be told. Of all penal instruments, fear remains the cheapest and most effective weapon for ensuring subservience.

This is how the ISA and all other ridiculous legislative and administrative instruments of oppression work in Malaysia. You give the citizens the impression that they are watched everywhere and all the time, and they will let their own fear play havoc with their imagination and behave themselves in way that will not rock any boat, not even a humble sampan . They will happily embrace the security of their invisible prison bars.

This is how proprietors, editors and journalists learn the slavish art of self-censorship, trying to second-guess all the time the whims and fancies of political top-dogs and tin-god mandarins who hold sway over the life and death of their publications.

At this time of the year, when the annual publishing licences are all up for renewal, this art of self-censorship in our mainstream media reaches the level of self-castration of the soul.

Nothing to hide

Cyberspace is not so easy to police, and there lies the advantage of malaysiakini . Nevertheless, I doubt very much if the leading lights within malaysiakini and those working under them are very much bothered by fear. I doubt also if they have to remind themselves to be courageous before they start a day's work.

It is simply this: once you have nothing to hide, and if you take precautions not to draw trouble to yourselves, you do not mind being watched everywhere and all the time. The threat of harassment and arrests are always there, but these are but the professional hazards of trying to improve our beloved nation. They come with the territory.

Once anybody stops frightening himself in this business of promoting more democratic space in Malaysia, he would have realised the truth that the heat is really quite mild, and there is no need to get out of the kitchen. In fact, the heat is a stamp of legitimacy, for it means you must be doing something right! Your voice in the wilderness is finally getting some eerie echo from the invisible prison walls.

The real challenge does not come from the sterile hornets, who breathe brimstone and hell-fire about imaginary insults to their race and religion and threatening street riots. If there are real riots, these over-bloated impotent hornets would be the first to flee with their wealth and their family.

The real problem in developing a responsible but free medium of public communication like malaysiakini is the petty-mindedness and the apathy of a population who know the price of everything and the value of none.

I have read comments on the net from young people who ask why they should pay money for visiting malaysiakini when they can get the same information on the net. Another youth complains that malaysiakini is full of hard news and politics, while he prefers other things that can help him enjoy his life.

I am given to understand that malaysiakini is still in the red, and has yet to turn the corner five years into their financially threadbare existence. They will still need to have quite a few more thousand subscribers to just break even. Their advertisement revenue cannot be all that substantial.

I suppose all those people staffing malaysiakini are not in it for the money. If they are after 12-month or 14-month bonuses, they have to go work for the Star , which claims a readership of a million. There must be other motivating factors involved, like participating in a worthy project and nudging history just by a wee bit.

Unfortunately, malaysiakini shall live and die by having or not having money. After all, it is a business in the capitalist sense, even if its reason-to-be is not driven by greed for profit. It would be a great shame if such a worthy project shall fold in the end for lack of financial sustainability.

Not a sales pitch

I am not making a sales pitch here for malaysiakini . I am reflecting on why it is always so darn hard for quality and meaningful social projects to survive in Malaysia. That fact alone is a sad social commentary on our citizens' lack of social virtues, intellectual tastes, and civic participation.

Given the cold harsh reality of our political wasteland, that malaysiakini has survived for five years is itself a great achievement. What will hold for malaysiakini or Malaysia in the next five years is anybody's guess. We are entering a new era, for better or for worse. There are too many variables for us to make any tangible prediction about the future.

All I know is that malaysiakini is a medium of communication like none other in Malaysia. For the first time in my short life, I can actually write anything I want and have everything I write printed without any form of censorship.

Here, I can see not just two sides of any coin, but all the many sides of it. Here, despite the racial divide that has been institutionalised into the soul of our citizens, I get to see very reasonable discussions of sensitive issues like race and religion in a very sensitive, informed and enlightened manner. My acquaintance with malaysiakini has been a hugely educational experience.

Long may you live indeed, malaysiakini !