When I heard that despite the seizures of Chin Peng's book it was still available at smaller bookstores, I ran out and bought two copies. "Typical" I thought to myself. And thank goodness. That bureaucratic inefficiency, and no doubt corruption, have played guarantors to quite a few of the personal freedoms we enjoy is a sad fact of contemporary Malaysian life.

I read the very readable " Alias Chin Peng, My Side of History " from cover to cover riveted by a history that has shaped our common life so dramatically. What if the Baling peace talks had not been a failure? What if the Communist Party of Malaya had been allowed to be integrated into what was then being constituted as the "mainstream" of political life? Would we not have had a broader, more plural political life?

Speculation aside, the unfolding of this dramatic and poignant history remains unfinished. While Chin Peng seems fairly generous, it's clear from the facts, that the ruling elite of this country want no such closure, no proper accounting of what transpired. They want the CPM, communism and practically everything left of centre to be remain as the "bogeys" they have cast as all these decades.

The collective life of our nation remains impoverished as a consequence. We are left unable to re-examine the founding moments of this nation, inarticulate in the face of questions of what we want for our future except for the most hollow platitudes, the most dulling economistic or the insidiously pious sectarian reasoning.

That Chin Peng remains in exile disturbs me. Who are the bitter old men and ignorant young who maintain this policy in opposition to the spirit of the Peace Accords. Why are they committed to this posture? The armed struggle ended, the arms sold, and the soldiers in retirement, what threat remains to the hegemony of the ruling elite?

As Chin Peng says in his closing paragraph:

"I would like to be involved in a forum. It is the exchange of ideas that ultimately moves the world. The barter of views still exhilarates me. You can tell me I was wrong. You can tell me I failed. But I can also tell you how it was and how I tried."

Bring Chin Peng and his comrades back home. That would be the true meaning of peace.