The debate in malaysiakini on whether we should allow Chin Peng's return has elicited as many ayes as nays.

I do not know if this reflects opinions in the real world. There is even a sneaking suspicion that perhaps the ayes and nays might be predicted from the ethnicity of the respondents. I therefore think it important we address our particular histories in order to give our fellow readers a chance to understand our personal perspectives.

I am third, or fourth generation, immigrant Chinese in Malaysia depending on whether you view my history from my maternal or paternal side.

Under the British administration, many of my family members worked as labourers and general workers in small plantations and tin mines, and as small business and trades people, clerical workers and junior civil servants.

My grandfather's generation were Hakkas who resided mostly in Negri Sembilan and Selangor. One distinguishing feature amongst my own relatives even then was that they were a bit more literate than their contemporaries, and perhaps more idealistic by temperament, sentiment or interest. My grandfather was an English and Chinese speaker, and my grandmother was literate.

The onset of Japanese hostilities in China, and subsequently World War Two had a cataclysmic effect on the Chinese in Malaysia of my grandfather's generation. Some of my grandfather's contemporaries trekked back to fight and die in China against the Japanese. This was even before Pearl Harbour was attacked.

The Japanese Imperial Forces had suffered considerable losses in mainland China, and implemented a very brutal form of government in Malaya. They practised differential treatment between the Malays, Chinese and Indians, knowing fully well that the Chinese in Malaysia would not be swayed by whatever blandishments they could proffer.

Thousands of Chinese in Malaysia perished under the Japanese Occupation through mass executions and murders. Like Chinese Malaysians today, nearly every single one of them were civilians.

One of my grandfather's relatives actually trekked overland to India with the British Army after the Japanese invasion. As an English and Chinese speaker, he joined the British Army and rose to become captain in the ranks. He returned to Malaya with the British Military Administration immediately after Hiroshima and Nagasaki were bombed.

During the Japanese Occupation, some of my relatives in Negri Sembilan and Selangor had to leave the town to go into hiding in the countryside. Some joined the armed resistance movement in the jungle after they discovered that the Kempeitai had been looking for them. Some had discovered their names appearing inexplicably on a Kempeitai death list. Many had decided it was better to fight and die rather than simply be killed.

Most who chose armed resistance in the jungle did not survive. An overwhelming majority of those who fought and died against the Japanese in Malaya were Chinese. Those who did survive did so with the help of the Orang Asli.

My grandfather witnessed a number of brutalities during World War Two, and had lost family members, and he hated the Japanese for a very long time, until well after the war had ended.

After the war, the killings did not automatically stop.

One of my grand-uncles was murdered by the communists in Negri Sembilan. An English and Chinese speaker, and a village headman at the time, he was reluctant to hand over any scarce supplies of food to the communists after the war had ended. He was promptly led at gunpoint into the jungles by a band of communist gunmen, and was never seen alive again.

We then lost another of my relatives who after he had made the perilous trek to China to fight the Japanese Army was no longer allowed to return to Malaysia after the war ended. After nearly two decades, this granduncle and his descendants finally succeeded to enter and stay in Hong Kong.

None of my grandfather's relatives who chose armed resistance survived the war in the jungle.

Quite understandably, in the aftermath of the war, many of my grandfather's contemporaries admired the communists for much the same reasons that they hated the Japanese. In my grandfather's generation, pitched arguments would erupt between relatives who admired the communists and those who did not.

In the final analysis, the overwhelming majority of my grandfather's contemporaries simply wanted to get on with their lives. They wanted peace, and many Chinese were stumped by the communist's insistence on a return to armed struggle against the British. As the communists committed atrocities against unarmed civilians in Malaysia which was exactly what the Japanese used to do, the majority of Chinese in Malaysia turned increasingly pro-government and anti-communist.

In the final analysis, my grandfather had lost relatives to the Japanese, the communists, and Malayan immigration authorities. Many Chinese Malaysians will know from their own particular family histories that my grandfather's experience is not the exception.

As for my personal sentiments, I cannot but admire the determined bands of communist fighters who operated in the jungles against terrible odds against the Japanese during World War Two. But I will never forgive Chin Peng for killing unarmed civilians after the war had ended. If there is one thing all Malaysians can learn from this is that violence is not the way.

I think his book is important. But murder is murder. I do not think he should be allowed to return home.