The braggart of a pirate chief recently screaming with false bravado and boasting of imagined extraordinary blood coursing through his person is more than desperate. He is at his wit’s end.
His lawyers have made him a laughing stock. If that isn’t bad enough, the laughter induced is not mirthful but scornful.
The mop-headed, over-the-hill so-called PR guru hastily commissioned to do a make-over on the chief’s image has decided only a miracle can do a good job of it. Only those inhabiting a place called Heaven can perform miracles. He is of terra firma. And so he speedily abandoned the job.
The Malaysian Communications and Multimedia Commission (MCMC) was next summoned to block the hoi polloi from viewing one of the main causes of the chief’s ugliness.
Now, you would expect a body such as the MCMC to know that the blockage can be cleared with considerable ease even by dummies and never mind by geeks.
But it obviously did not know. And, of course, true to the regime’s tradition of blaming others for its failures, it has accused those who have circumvented the blockage of having evil intention.
How looking for information can be considered an act of planning to commit evil is completely beyond me lil ole brain. ‘Ave yer got any idea, mate?
The chief has scraped the very bottom of his very holey, sinking pirate skiff for something to replace mophead and his fellow makeup artists. And not surprisingly, he’s come up with yucky dregs.
Some of the synonyms of ‘dreg’ are ‘goo’, ‘guck’ (or ‘gunk’) and ‘muck’. You know that.
Goo, Guck and Muck are now feverishly wielding their makeup brushes. But they are handling the tools like you would expect an elephant to play the violin with its trunk.
Goo has been made the Tragic Communications Director. Within days of his appointment, he has committed several tragic blunders. Under him, his minions are doing no better.
Guck is a hitherto little known Indian heading an equally obscure non-governmental organisation. He is a bankrupt. He has lots of debts. He himself has said so. I don’t think he and his bank manager are the best of friends, do you?
And he’s been made a bankrupt not for having failed to pay RM3 billion or even RM3 million owed but only some RM30k. That tells us he definitely has never been a Donald Trump or a Li Ka-Shing.
“I am the special officer to the prime minister,” he boasted to Muck sometime last month, puffing his chest. “Man, he’s in deep shit. I need to pull him out of the cesspool. You can help me. Want to? There’s money in it. Lots.”
Muck thought it was not only Christmas coming early but three Christmases crashing down on him all at once.
See, Muck is also a bankrupt. He is also drowning in debts.
In next to no time, Muck flew from the ‘cat town’ to the ‘muddy estuary’. In a room somewhere in that muddy estuary, this marvel-less comic did his thing in front of a video camera.
You know, Marvel Comics takes us to fantasy land, and we get entertained. This marvel-less comic takes us to his fantasy land, and we get irritated by his ill-conceived fiction. His mis-conception is strictly for morons.
More holes than a colander
Muck’s story has more holes than a colander. If that isn’t bad enough, he has also unwittingly portrayed himself as really a verminous turncoat. He’s bitten the very hand that once fed him. Oh, what wouldn’t some vermin do for money!
Guck and Muck have produced two videos so far. Both have turned out to be ludicrous, badly produced. And more coming.
Obviously, Guck is oblivious to all their fatal flaws. But what does that matter? After all, the drowning pirate chief would grasp at even a rotting piece of straw.
And the said chief is not only grasping but holding tightly for dear life. So tightly, in fact, that he’s got two members of parliament from the opposition fingered by Muck barred from leaving the country.
Next week, the obnoxious creature is going to finger more. May God help those poor fellows.
If you take Guck’s and Muck’s words as gospel truth, you are a goner.
Have a speedy journey to Davy Jones’ Locker, capt’n!
