We have to acknowledge the fact that religious festive celebrations in Malaysia have become muted in the last 10 years or so. Not many people actually have their private open houses by inviting their friends from other races anymore. The reason may not necessarily be a selfish one but one based on practical needs. The Malays often leave their houses to return to their 'kampungs' while the Chinese opt to go for a holiday while the Indians are so few in any area.

This is the fact of life in our new and beloved multi-racial Malaysia. It is the Malaysia that is not featured in any brochure or in any television clip. It is the real Malaysia. We have to accept this fact and not be confused with the Malaysia that is created by the media which often creates events and arranges people for photos to show on the front pages of their newspapers in glorious colours. I am a 'multi-racial Malaysian' and I know. I used to visit our Chinese relatives and they did likewise during our festive celebrations. But as of 10 years ago, such visits have not occurred.

But this doesn't mean we do not meet and see each other on other days that are not related to any festive celebrations. There are more than 300 days in any year that are not 'taken up' by any religious festival and this is when we find the time to meet. Unfortunately, meetings of these nature that involve small groups of people of various racial backgrounds who meet and relate to each other are not publicised by the media. The reason is that they are not colourful or dramatic. They are ordinary everyday happenings. But these are the real and true 'open houses' or 'rumah terbuka' that everybody should be talking about.

What I find disconcerting about the so-called official open houses/fields/hall is how detached everybody is. One attends it with a heavy heart, not knowing what the real significance of them anymore. That is why, I believe everybody, especially the Muslims or more specifically the so-called liberal or pseudo-liberal Muslims, have chosen to ignore the advice of the ulama and do so because they are confused with the whole issue.

The issue is not about discouraging non-Muslims from celebrating with their Muslim friends and relatives Hari Raya. It is ridiculous how many think this is what the ulama had in mind when they voiced their displeasure at the celebration of the so-called Kongsi Raya. It is more about the obvious that has happened - that Hari Raya Puasa or Hari Raya Aidil-Fitri and Hari Raya Haji or Hari Raya Aidil-Adha or Eid Mubbarak have been obliterated in the minds of many a Muslim. And in their places are Kongsi Raya.

What is Kongsi Raya in Islam? It is not a real celebration, but one that is created by mere mortals. Therefore it cannot stay. It is conceptually and philosophically weak even if we are to totally ignore the non-religious aspects and treat it as another social or cultural occasion created by Malaysians. If they do, they still cannot call it Kongsi Raya, but Kongsi Makan since 'raya' here refers to the Muslim religious festivals.

And for that matter even Chinese New Year, Deepavalli and Christmas have been obliterated in the process and these are now described collectively as Kongsi Raya. No wonder many say these so-called 'open houses/fields' are uniquely Malaysian. We can have open houses or open fields for Hari Raya Puasa and Hari Raya Haji, but not for Kongsi Raya. It is this Kongsi Raya that is being promoted by the media and many in this country.

Kongsi Raya is alien to Muslims in Indonesia, Singapore, Brunei and the entire Muslim world. It is not mentioned in the Holy Koran or Hadith. Even the Arabs will consider the open houses or open fields alien to the way they celebrate the festivals. I wish the ulama had been more precise in what they are trying to say - whether they disagree to the celebrating of Muslim festivals by organising open houses or if the words to describe Hari Raya have been changed to Kongsi Raya instead.

I still cannot accept that Hari Raya Puasa and Hari Raya Haji have now been replaced by Kongsi Raya. If this trend continues, the younger generation of Muslims won't know what they are anymore. To make matters worse, the media now does not promote Hari Raya Puasa or Hari Raya Haji and even the shopping complexes are blatantly promoting Kongsi Raya.

The government must fully acknowledge the existence of Kongsi Raya and pass a bill in parliament by saying that Hari Raya Puasa and Hari Raya Haji are not to be celebrated anymore and in their places is Kongsi Raya. Even the holidays we get to celebrate these Muslim religious festivals are specifically for Hari Raya Puasa and Haji. They are not for Kongsi Raya.

The concept of 'rumah terbuka' or open houses has also been bastardised. We tend to get excited with crowds. It seems the more one sees people, the more one thinks there is unity. But do we know what each and everybody who attends the so-called open houses feels? We must invite our friends to our own houses and not do it the cheap and simple way by organising a gathering in the 'padang' where there is no likelihood of relating to each other.

I feel the real open houses that we see are the ones held by Malays especially when there is a marriage in their family. I have attended some of the so-called 'open houses' organised by the ministry concerned and find it is nothing but a fun fair where free food is served. Often the food is bland. It is a food-fest. Worse, one is forced to eat and eat even when it is not at one's time to do so.

The whole affair is nothing more than a 'Jom Heboh' concert or funfair. It is noisy and people just do not care to look at each other. We have seen how the newspapers had splashed photos on their front pages of how litter is thrown on the field and of people rushing to grab more food than they need. Is this the spirit of Kongsi Raya that we want to encourage, which brings out the gluttony and silliness in all of us? I now prefer to celebrate Hari Raya Puasa and Hari Raya Haji and other religious celebrations with some of my friends and relatives in the old-fashioned way, in a more sober and quiet way and privately.

It is better to meet with some friends and relatives during such festive occasions than bump into scores of thousands of complete strangers who only have food in their minds.