This letter refers both to Husin Tapa and Aleesha's conservative and rigid interpretation of Islam's view on interfaith marriages.

Firstly, I hope, with reference to all the letters about interfaith marriages and conversion, we will stop labeling others as traitors to Islam because it is only Allah and Allah alone who can and will judge who is traitor and who is not. We mere mortals do not have the mandate to do so and definitely do not have the power or wisdom to pass such a great judgement on our brothers and sisters.

Secondly, I would like to request everyone to go back to the Holy Book for reference before passing judgement on others.

The holy Quran expressly and specifically permits the marriage of a Muslim man to a woman of the Ahl-e-Kitab (people of the Scriptures). The Ahl-e-Kitab is interpreted to mean people of the Jewish or Christian faith. After marriage, it is binding upon the Muslim husband to permit his Christian or Jewish wife to practise her own religion without any hindrance from him whatsoever.

It is in this respect that governments should not play God and formulate policies for political reasons, forcing conversion, in the name of seeking harmony between communities, because it does not. It is when we allow religions and cultures to grow side by side, that love, understanding and tolerance, will flourish, and therefore, peace and unity, too.

At this point, I would like to thank Dr Sarah Verghis , who is not a Muslim, but seem to understand the situation better. She was right to say that 'Palestine Liberation Organisation leader, the late Yassir Arafat, married a Christian. And nobody asked her to convert'.

Generally speaking, in a marriage, the son's parents often prefer to have a Muslim daughter-in-law, mainly for cultural and social considerations - but not because of religious requirements. This is similar to the practise of parents encouraging their children to marry people with similar racial, linquistic, and social status (such as wealth, nobility, profession, beauty, skin colour and so on). What really matters however, is the character and compatibility of the couple.

Two adults who are able to make their own decisions may do so freely when it comes to choosing a marriage partner, and if they can, they might also try to accommodate the parent's wishes if possible. If it is not possible, then that is too bad. Marriage in Islam is a civil contract made between two consenting parties out of their own free will.

As for allowing children to choose, again I turn to the Holy Book for guidance. There is no compulsion in Islam, truth stands out clear from error [The Quran 2:256] and so we will not practice force. God Almighty also says in the Quran, "Let whosoever wishes believe, and let whosoever wishes disbelieve." (18:29).

My wife-to-be is a Christian but I have the confidence that with my guidance and my examples, my children will not be lost souls. One can call himself or herself a Muslim, Christian or whatever and be brought up in totally Muslim/Christians homes, but still sex, booze and women are the order of the day. (We need not to go far. One example is the recent story on malaysiakini , Sex and booze at Putra Umno's expedition . Aren't they all Muslims and have Muslim parents?).

It is important to remember, though, that a Muslim or Christian upbringing does not force a child to live his entire life as a Muslim/Christian. A Muslim/Christian upbringing simply prepares the ground for the child's adulthood. Ultimately, when the child reaches maturity, he will make his own decision regarding which faith to follow. Belief is something in people's hearts and is beyond the reach of compulsion.

A true Muslim must believe that all marriages are made in heaven, ordained by Allah, and not by human force, because everything is destined by Allah. So I wouldn't go so far as to say that my not marrying a Muslim can deprive a Muslim woman of a Muslim husband. If I am bound to marry a Christian, don't you think that Allah has a hand in it? Else, I believe, it would not happen at all. By forcing conversion till the partnership of two ordained by Allah breaks up, is wrong and shows that the people who say this do not believe in fate.

And lastly for the record, children from mixed-faith marriages do not end up being Muslims or Christians, not because of their parents' interfaith marriages, but because both parents are too busy pursuing wealth and other materials to guide their children in whichever religion. This happens to children who come from very religious homes as well or children who have been brought up as Muslims or Christians their entire life.

On the other hand, there are many success stories too where non-Muslim partners have converted out of real love and acceptance for Islam, and have even become campaigners for the Muslim faith, and both couples live happily ever after, and not in hypocrisy.

I hope Muslims will open their minds wide enough to see this possible scenario.

Wasalam.