I am deeply disappointed with the report Universities forking out millions for dubious awards where Dr Wee Ka Siong (BN - Ayer Hitam) makes some very unwelcome statements about hardworking academics and our creative inventions.

I was going to submit my sure-to-win entry for the forthcoming 35th Geneva International Invention Expo with an eye on that coveted Gold Medal for the greater glory of my university, country and, of course, myself.

You see, despite my heavy academic teaching, research and consultancy workload, I have managed to come up with this terrific invention over here in our award-winning, super-charged, amazingly intellectual environment that is a Malaysian public university.

It's a computer-aided invention of an extended mobility device (EMD) with systematically woven soft fibre bristles in a fan-shape on its end designed to ensure a 100% hygienic dust-free environment when applied on any surface.

Built only of the best available synthetic poly-vinyl material available with public funds sourced from the government's Fundamental Research Grant programme, I spent years of research time coming up with this utterly advanced space-age invention which can be operated with only one hand. (I mean, can you beat this? You actually have a choice of using either your left or right-hand to operate this EMD! What a major breakthrough for consumer choice, eh?)

I am convinced that once this EMD invention of mine is submitted as one of my university's official entries to the Geneva Expo, it is sure to win a Gold Medal!

Besides, all the janitors and cleaners here in my public university agree that my EMD invention is seriously the best-looking broom they have ever seen. In consequence, apart from my contemporary and forward-looking vice-chancellor and deputy vice-chancellor (Research and Innovation), all the cleaners here support my entry and are rooting for me. After all, new brooms sweep clean, right?

It is thus a great pity that Wee does not share my public university's vision for the future or our advanced understanding of R&D. Because of his views, my Gold Medal hopes are now dashed forever!