Many appear to shed crocodile tears for Dr Chua Soi Lek, the fallen health minister, who does not seem remorseful or shamed by his misconduct looking at his media interviews. Asking a persistent female reporter to watch the video with him shows his cockiness, no pun intended. That he said he regretted using the same room and hotel tells something of the regularity of his secret rendezvouses with his personal friend.

I suppose all that makes it harder to feel sympathetic toward someone whose only regret is that he was stupid enough to get caught. In a country that tops the world in Viagra sales and religion is often for show and morals are sliding, Chua may have reason to feel smug and his affair may be just be the tip of the iceberg.

The Altantuya case is another stark reminder that sex affairs occur frequently among Malaysia's elite and anecdotes of exotic foreign girlfriends being flown into the country on private jets are not far-fetched after all. They get more brash by the day and the religious authorities dare not touch them.

Those who think that public officials can do what they like in private are misguided and darkened in their understanding. Every public person, especially government ministers, have a duty to be exemplary in private and public. It is just one of the list of duties of the job. If committing adultery is okay in private, then when is it not okay? Are the lawmakers insane then to make laws against adultery? Such faulty thinking is futile and does society no good.

I am sick and tired of those who keep repeating the mantra that ‘It is no one's business if something is done in private’. So it is okay to rape, steal, cheat, etc, if it is done in private ? Does not the act itself deserve condemnation, whoever does it?

The public does not care how or where or when or why a minister makes love to his wife but it is in the public's interest if a minister is having hanky panky with another woman. People in positions of public trust and responsibility are not private individuals because they carry heavy responsibilities that private individuals don't.

The fact Chua advocated abstinence but could not apply it to himself shows that the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Sexual addiction which many people suffer from without knowing is a psychological and emotional disorder and those who suffer from it should seek help. Michael Douglas the Hollywood actor once admitted to his problem. Sex is a powerful drive and those of us who own high-performance ‘cars’ must know how to control it.

That is why I often criticise my Muslim friends who make their women cover up from head to foot when it is their men who should be learning self-control. Men will never learn self-control if the blame is always passed on to the women.

Sadly there are those who want loose behaviour more associated with rock and film stars to be the norm. But the truth is there is an insidious culture of keeping mistresses and infidelity among Asians that compensate for their public hypocrisy when they criticise the West for its liberal sexual mores. Is not the call girl racket big business in Malaysia and police handsomely paid off?

We expect those in public service to meet certain standards of moral propriety. Hiding behind the skirt of privacy is not acceptable. At a time when we are asking for greater government transparency, it can't be acceptable for government ministers to be involved with extra-marital affairs, which really is another form of corruption.

Just because many people do it does not make the deed less immoral. And denouncing such behaviour does not make prudes out of the disappointed.

What is worse is shifting the focus to the whistleblower. Some make it out as if the ones who exposed the minister are the real wrongdoers. So whoever taped the VK Lingam’s conversation in the judge-fixing scandal is also to blame?

It is the job of everyone - not just reporters - to expose unconscionable and immoral conduct by those in the public eye because unlike private citizens they carry certain responsibilities not expected of private citizens. Those who assume the responsibilities are aware of the onus placed on them and those that can't accept it should not be in the public arena.

An apology is not the same as a sincere apology. One is for show or even a tactical move, the other is genuine remorse for the wrong done. I don’t see that Chua remorseful and I would take his apology with a pinch of salt. The script was written and the cameras rolled but Chua had only himself to blame for playing the leading role.

Those who harbour the notion Chua acted ‘honourably’ and is a ‘gentleman’ are well-intentioned but misguided. The truth is Chua had no choice but to give up everything. It was a checkmate. He could not make another move except concede defeat.

Not everyone who sins sexually is a write-off. They do not need to be condemned for life and certainly Chua with his talents should not be written off. The expose may be a timely wake-up call for him and for many of us women and men who think that a few hours of fleeting pleasure are worth the destruction of our lives and reputations.

Pak Lah will do well to flush out his ministers with mistresses. It is no small or private matter for public officials to commit adultery. I don't care if my neighbour has a hundred mistresses but I care if my minister has one that he shouldn't. The requirements for being a minister comes with responsibilities, and no blameless leader should be afraid of the toughest scrutiny. But the unscrupulous should be on notice.