With the misfortunes afflicting the nation, veteran editor A Kadir Jasin is relieved that the pandas are not coming to Malaysia as scheduled.

He warned Malaysians against being too excited about the idea of having the pandas in the national zoo.

"On our part, instead of being thrilled by the prospect of seeing the cuddly creatures, we should be mortally fearful of the unknown and the unpredictable.

"Just imagine if Fengyi and Fuwa (the names of the pandas) contract dengue hemorrhagic fever while in our care or, in the worst case scenario, are molested by a randy orang utan," Kadir said in his blog post.

The former New Straits Times Group editor-in-chief noted that a male orang utan is a solitary animal and not normally predisposed to violence when looking for a mate.

However, he said, under the current string of bad luck, anything is possible.

"But with all these mysterious bala (unfortunate) things happening in our country, we cannot discount the remote possibility of a normally peaceful orang utan becoming crazy and, when its keeper is dozing off, escapes from its enclosure and molests the Chinese giant pandas," he added.

Kadir also warned that some sex-crazed Malaysians, "of which there are many", could kidnap the animals not for ransom but for their bile, which some believe can enhance sexual prowess.

Such incidents, he pointed out, would ruin Malaysia's ties with China.

Panda's poop smells better...

"Already, as a result of the disappearance of MH370 and the anger it generated among the Chinese, even panda's poop smells better than our name among the Chinese people," Kadir said.

As if that is not bad enough, he said Filipino criminals had to pick a Chinese tourist to kidnap, off the coast of Sabah.

"Since they know that we are desperate to be on good terms with China, they upped the ransom demand. They are asking for 500 million pesos (RM36.4 million) for her release," he said.

"What miserable luck we have. Maybe some of us have done or are still doing some really bad things – like believing in the bomoh, the mantras and the supernatural – that Allah is punishing us," he added.

Oozing with sarcasm, Kadir also proposed that "our people-first government" forms an "Esscom-type battle group" to guard the pandas during their stay here.

Initially, the pandas were supposed to arrive in Malaysia on April 15 but it was announced yesterday that the transfer has been postponed .

In a statement, Natural Resources and Environment Minister G Palanivel said Malaysia and China have agreed that the pandas be sent to Malaysia on a later date.

Both parties, he added, agreed that it would be more significant for the animals to come amid the 40th anniversary of the Malaysia-China diplomatic ties in May.