Ouyang Wen Feng began in English, outlining the reasons he decided to come out with his secret.

Sitting with legs crossed, he proceeded in determined fashion, a microphone in one hand while the fingers of the other enumerated a list of things he wants to accomplish through his revelation.

The audience nodded attentively as he quickly moved from point to point in his dissertation. He seemed unstoppable.

When he was done, he repeated the process in a more personal Mandarin. It was then, midway through, his voice abruptly cracked.

His eyes reddened. They closed for a split second, as though he was gathering strength to continue. When he did, some words were stuttered.

Though it was a blink within a blink and the episode passed without conscious registration, it was at that moment that the attentive audience became acutely aware of the whole purpose of the gathering.

They realised that there sat a man who wanted recognition and closure over a personal issue that had dogged him for over three decades - his homosexuality and his acceptance of it.

Ouyang, 36, a popular columnist with Sin Chew Daily , is the nation's first Chinese writer to reveal his homosexuality.

A double-degree graduate and soon to be a double doctorate holder, the US-educated Ouyang is well built and good looking.

The first impression is of a man who is intelligent, open and articulate, but also slightly angry. He could just as easily spew condemnation of prejudice as he could express love for his former wife, current lover (a Spaniard named Angel), his family and supportive friends.

In an interview after the recent launch of his autobiography 'My Journey', Ouyang spoke extensively on his past and what he wants for the future.

Malaysiakini: Why did you want to come out?

Ouyang: The invisibility of homosexuals has pushed a lot of homosexuals into heterosexual marriages, and I believe that it is unfair to a lot of people. It not only hurts homosexuals, it also hurts heterosexuals. So I think it is important not to allow homophobia to continue to perpetuate in our society.

But it took around 32 years...

Yes, it took me 32 years to finally accept who I am, to embrace my sexuality.

There must be a lot of pressure. How do you handle it?

(Mainly through my) geographical location. I believe it helps to relieve some of the tension that I face here. I also have some supportive (people) - Pat (Bumgardner) my pastor, the Metropolitan Community Church (of New York) and all my friends here. They have been very supportive.

The gay community in Malaysia takes on a low profile. Considering the way you are coming out, did you consult with them?

No. I have not consulted with them. It's a personal thing.

Do you think you have overcome the barrier between the gay community and society?

We should always challenge the comfort zone. We should not be always in the closet. Of course, I can imagine some people would say we have a gay zone now, we have all kinds of things. People don't bother us because they know nothing about homosexuality.

But the moment you raise homosexuality as an issue, everyone looks around and wonders who are homosexual. I think it's very important for gay people to get rid of internalised homophobia. To know that we are our enemy - we are our worst enemy.

You wrote a series of articles that were sympathetic of the gay community, but did not tell people you are gay. And now with the truth exposed, you have been accused of concealing the truth from your readers. What is your response?

I think it's very true that I concealed the truth. But what are the reasons? It's because once they know I am gay, they're not going to read anything that I write. I want them to focus on what I am talking first and then to know who I am.

Coming out is not a quick event. It's a process, so I'm coming out slowly. And I don't think a lot of people are shocked that I am coming out. Since I always write positive things about homosexuality, some might suspect that I am homosexual.

You said you are going to wage a cultural struggle. The real pressure in Malaysia is politics, social understanding and also the law, which is very suppressive. You said you are not going to be here (Ouyang) has since returned to New York, where he works). So are the rest of the gay people here going to face the consequences?

That's why I don't encourage people to come out publicly, like I'm doing. What I want to tell people is to let me be the first person to do something like this, and we'll see what happens.

If the response turns out to be negative...

If the response is negative then we will react to it. We will do something else.

You said you gathered much personal strength when you were in the United States.

One of the reasons why I gathered divine strength from the US was simply because I met a lot of homosexuals. I saw how they carried themselves and it gave me hope. It showed me the possibility that we can have people stand up, come out and be openly gay in Malaysia.

You have quoted the Bible a lot. Why?

Well, different audiences have different opinions and different writers have different opinions. When I quote the Bible, I quote for the gay Christians, or Christians who believe homosexuality is not okay.

If you're not Christian, you might not think the argument is strong when I quote the scripture. But for those who are Christians, it's very important to explain those scriptures that sound like they are against homosexuality. How I explain away all those things (is important). I think it's about love, between two human beings.

Have any questions posed by the media bothered you?

Society has all kinds of imagination. (People) like to think about what I do with my partner in bed, but this is not your business. Heterosexuals also do all sorts of things in their bedroom, but this is not other people's business. They say we are very sexual people. As a matter of fact, a lot of heterosexual people are sexual. (When people hear) the word 'homosexual', their first thought is about sex, sex, sex. To me it's not about sex, it's about love.

A lot of people accuse homosexuals of leading a promiscuous life. One reason that makes a lot of gay people sleep around is that society has never recognised their love for their partners. They never recognise that. They never acknowledge that.

So a lot of gay people who internalise homophobia ask 'why do I have to be honest?', 'why do I have to be faithful to my partner?'. Heterosexism perpetrates promiscuity.

Tomorrow: A lucky gay man