COMMENT | Five years ago, I met a Danish expatriate at an event in Bangsar, Kuala Lumpur. We liked each other almost instantly and, in the course of a few months, fell in love.

Six months into our relationship, we began talking about our future together. I am a Muslim by birth, and a single mother with children who were also born as Muslims. As much as I do not subscribe to Islamic conversion to legalise marriage, I explained to Christensen the need for him to convert in order for us to have a future in Malaysia.

In the beginning, Chris had a hard time accepting the fact that he had to abandon his own religion, one that he was born into and grew up in, in order to share a life with me.

“I need to know, Fa, what makes you think that your religion is the true religion and your God is the true God and mine is not?” he asked one afternoon.

I thought for a while, pretty dumbfounded by his question.

“I don’t know,” I answered shortly.

“Let me rephrase that. Why are you a Muslim? What makes you a Muslim?” he continued asking.

“I am a Muslim because I am born to Muslim parents and I was brought up as a Muslim, with Islamic teachings and beliefs, just like my parents were taught by theirs,” I was truthful in my answer.

“So am I. Why then do I have to abandon my faith while you get to keep yours?”

Clearly, Chris wasn’t happy.

“You know the answer, Chris – because this is Malaysia and inter-religious marriage is not allowed if one of them is a Muslim.”

“Fine. I understand that. But in order to abandon my faith and accept yours, I need you to tell me what you love about Islam – and please don’t preach about the beauty of Islam and the goodness in the teachings because frankly, all religions are beautiful and teach people to be good.”

I thought for a moment. And I continued thinking for a few more moments.

I mean, I do love Islam and I do identify myself as a Muslim. I do submit my heart and soul to Allah, although my way of worshipping Him may differ from other Muslims. But I honestly could not answer Chris’ question.

“How can I embrace a new religion for you when you are unable to guide me?” Chris asked.

Somewhat defensive, I said, “Of course I can guide you. I know my religion!”

Chris chuckled, “When a born Muslim like you fails to answer such a simple question about why you love your religion, what makes you think that if I do convert, I would embrace it?”

I went silent. I felt like a dozen punches had landed on my stomach. Ouch...