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COMMENT | First charge:

a) That you being the members of the Council of Ministers of the state of Gnanep, (hereafter referred to as the Council), between 12am and 1am on the morning of 19th September 2017, did wilfully and illegally communicate with and connived with the Almighty to cause hardship and misery and cause its subjects of the state to suffering;

b) During the same communication, the Council also conveyed to the Almighty to gather heavy clouds over the state;

c) Between 3am and 7am when the sea tide was at its highest, the Council communicated with the same Almighty to cause the heavens to open up and bring more water, fish and crocodiles to increase the wildlife population;

d) Furthermore, through another communication an hour after the downpour, the council convinced the Almighty to create secret tunnels to the neighbouring states to wit, Hadek and Karep, to move the rainwater from Gnanep and cause further suffering by the residents dwelling there;

e) As a result of your unsanctioned and unauthorised communication, 270mm of rainfall fell over a four-hour period as requested/demanded in your communication;

Members of the Council have therefore committed an offence under Section 21(2)(iv) of the Forbidden to Act with Forbidden Persons Act 1789. Upon conviction, you are liable to make a reasonable sum (to be decided by the court) to be donated to the “real and authorised” communicators, which they can use for any purpose they deem fit, including political funding.

Furthermore, members of the Council will be prevented from entering places of worship for periods not exceeding two electoral terms.

Second charge:

a) That you being members of the Council between 12am and 7am on the morning of 19th September 2017, on three occasions did wilfully and illegally communicate with and the Almighty without authorisation from the Majlis Ketua Ketua Padri Persekutuan; an offence under Section 76(1.2)(vii)(c) of the Wrongful Communication Act 1951 which carries a punishment of being barred from using any form of instant communication tools for a period of up to 10 years.

The trial

Yesterday, at a specially convened sitting of the Ecclesiastical Court, 11 men of cloth carrying their respective holy books took their oaths as members of the jury. The jurors were dressed in their religious garb while the eight defendants, in all-white party uniform to signify purity, sat in the dock and listened attentively as the head of the Crown Prosecution Office (CPO) addressed the court.

He said that the police started investigations after a group of worshippers complained that the Council’s action or inaction caused several places in the state to be flooded. In their report, it was stated that the Council “prayed” for the flock to enjoy “seaside-like” facilities on the roads and in their houses...

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