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SATIRE | Standing against the wall with your fly down at the urinal was never imaginable – especially in a public toilet. Even if it was in the Court of Appeal, those who used the same facilities had been convicted felons, who had hoped to get their convictions overturned on a technicality, or a hot-shot lawyer who had dubious and devious ways to get one out of trouble.

But the solitude, by being the only occupant, and pin-drop silence can be a double-edged sword. It could provide a calmer and quieter environment against the legal arguments next door.

But then, the seclusion could send your thoughts wandering. Questions keep repeating themselves. “Why am I here in the first place?” Your mind flashes back to a decade ago. “Should I have befriended that fat boy? Why was I so taken up by the nice words of the step-son?”

A public toilet is no place for a has-been statesman who has graced among others, the White House and Buckingham Palace. Even locally, wherever he had gone previously, there would have been a special toilet exclusive for his use. A butler would be on hand to hand out specially scented fluffy towels to dry himself.

What had gone wrong?...

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