COMMENT | From National Bump Commission to National AI Agency

COMMENT | In Sixth Form a half-century ago, my General Paper teacher told us this thought-provoking story: a philosopher goes to a fountain in Florence at the height of summer. Seeing bums and layabouts having a siesta in the Italian sun, he announces a prize of 10,000 lira to “the laziest of the lot”.

They all jumped up barring a young man who continued snoozing. The ones on their feet each claimed they were truly the laziest. The philosopher wakes up the “snoozer” and gives him the prize money saying, “The truly lazy are never motivated by money.” Those who jumped up were cunning, not lazy. They were merely pretending.

And the cunning in our country have always had this trick up their sleeves: secure a sinecure by setting up a powerful national agency and I quote “to oversee and implement a strategy while creating an agile regulatory framework capable of ensuring there is a single focal point for coordinating…” Yes, the usual spin, if not spiel.

So why not set up a National Bump Commission to monitor and oversee the construction and maintenance of all road bumps in the country?

Their unregulated construction in small towns and cities and pretty taman (housing estates) and townships is the bane of every motorist with or without a valid driving licence. Who among us has not been aggrieved by these bumps?

And these damn things pop up in places you least expect, including the poorly lit car parks of malls and condominiums or a dark and unlit rural road between Ulu Kangkang and Batu Banggang, making a mockery of our rights as citizens to move about our country without “let or hindrance”. Now there is no turning back. We are truly a nation of bumps!

Needless to say, these bumps come in all shapes, sizes and colours. Some are painted and smooth and others rough and cobbled.

Then there are the pert little ones that despite their innocent appearance can give your old backbone a nasty jolt not counting the ruin it causes your absorbers.

And what of the pointed ones that can rip your soft undercarriage to pieces?

Developers of houses and commercial properties will need to apply for permits and approvals before constructing different types of bumps, each meeting the guidelines and strict specifications of this newly formed commission.

And only contractors certified by the said commission can carry out such works. The required paperwork is voluminous but the commission coos, “It’s all digital.”

All fine and good. But here is a sampler of what we will read in the papers 10 years hence: “Two senior directors of the National Bump Commission were charged in court with accepting bribes totalling RM 1 million” or “The chief bump engineer was found guilty of approving the construction of 10 sub-standard bumps in Taman Senang Hidup”. Month after month, year after year ad nauseum.

Meanwhile, it is on record that the head of the commission for the past dozen years from now has had three extensions to his contract and that he has attended, always accompanied by a large entourage, many conferences, seminars and meetings related to “bumps” held in various countries including a recent one entitled, “The Safety Standards of Small Bumps” held in Qatar.

All this will surely make you ask why I am all worked up by this matter of bumps just now. Well, it's not every day I come across two news items that point me in their direction.

Same old, same old

I suspect more than mere coincidence had a hand in bringing to my attention the views of an academic and an economist, saying it’s high time we disband the National Professors Council (MPN).

You read right. First disbanded in 2018, it was restructured and placed under the purview of the Higher Education Ministry in 2022.

Last Wednesday, the president of the MPN claimed trial to seven charges of criminal breach of trust involving RM 271, 000 of the council’s money.

Asked the academic Sharifah Munirah Alatas: “...how has the MPN contributed to the betterment of the lives of all Malaysians?” Supporting her call was the economist Nungsari Ahmad Radhi, the chair of Khazanah Research Institute (KRI).

I was about to shout “bravo” when I spotted another article quoting the KRI calling for the “setting up of a central national artificial intelligence agency to oversee and implement Malaysia’s AI strategy while creating an agile regulatory framework…” Sound familiar?

Someone please tell the people in KRI that the first agenda on the use of AI should be to bring to book crooked politicians and their crony business partners who have been looting the country through various schemes and scams.

We need a constitutional mechanism with built-in features to prevent misuse and abuse before we can fully harness the power of AI to create a more just and equitable society.

Besides, AI is a transnational phenomenon with a tendency to be “more clever” than the people in the MPN or the KRI or the government.

Now for a confession. I am uncomfortable with the term “artificial intelligence”, preferring instead “algorithmic intelligence”. Reason: the utterances of some of our politicians and professors make us wonder whether we are a world leader in artificial intelligence - if you know what I mean.

MURALE PILLAI is a former GLC employee. He runs a logistics company.

The views expressed here are those of the author/contributor and do not necessarily represent the views of Malaysiakini.

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