I refer to the Malaysiakini article May 13 and national reconciliation . I commend the writer for the reconciliatory tone of his article.

I believe that although the May 13 incident may just be a footnote in many of our history textbooks and a bogeyman that is resurrected by irresponsible politicians every five years when it suits them, the incident needs to be addressed because even after 40 years, those in power still choose to avoid a mature discussion of it for fear of reprisals.

The idea that bringing up this topic may cause old wounds to resurface is sound and valid. However, I would liken the healing process to a doctor treating a wound. A doctor cannot just apply medication on the areas around the wound and then apply a plaster over the wound.

She has to first remove the dead tissue and foreign objects within the wound, clean the wound with an antiseptic solution and only then proceed with applying medication and allow the healing process to take over.

Sidestepping the May 13 issue for fear of evoking painful memories is like another doctor who, in order to spare the patient the pain, only treats the peripheral areas of the wound without focusing on the raw and more painful areas of the wound.

Despite the kind intentions of the person, we can see this as being irresponsible and myopic as it would only be a temporary measure for the wound can still turn septic or even develop gangrene and have to be amputated.

I think parents the world over will identify with this. For example, my five-year old son hurt himself the other day. He was scared to have me clean his wound and even howled because of the pain when the wound was touched.

I had to treat him gently, allay his fears tenderly and whisper words of comfort to provide him with some sense of confidence that yes, there would be some pain, but it would be fleeting, and this is necessary for the long term, so that the wound will heal, so that he can run and jump and play again (and go for the friend's birthday party that he wanted so much to go to).

Perhaps borrowing from this experience, this is what we as a nation needs to do ie, to understand that some pain and hurt will emerge from this digging up of the past, but this removing of the ‘pus' and ‘dead cells' is integral to identify any harmful elements from continuing to cause more pain.

But with lots of love, understanding, and forgiveness, we can transcend that painful period in order to reach higher heights of unity and acceptance .

Meaning the true kind of unity that is not so brittle or that gingerly awaits for a spark to unleash years of repressed and suppressed anger and suspicion. I look forward to that day when we Malaysians can genuinely achieve that kind of unity.