I am a recent graduate with a huge PTPTN loan on my head before I can even get a headstart in the working world. My total loan amount was RM48,000. From the time I started working, I have been paying small amounts based on what I can afford. Unfortunately, what I can afford is not even close to the so-called administration fees.

A real case scenario here: My opening balance for this year (after paying a chunk last year, using up my graduation presents of cash from relatives) was RM46,964.94 On Aug 6, I opened up my account transaction history in PTPTN's E-FES to be startled with a closing balance of RM47,054.51, which is RM89.57 higher than my opening balance of the year.

This would be alright if I didn't even attempt to pay any amount of money. However, from January till July I paid RM714.94. I expected to see at least a little reduction in my balance. To my utter disbelief, PTPTN charged RM804.51 of administration fee for that same period of time.

Coming from a very young fresh graduate who is not even earning above RM1,900 (after all EPF deductions) living in KL and travelling to the heart of KL for work, this has put a very real strain to both my financial and emotional health.

A news article today reports that almost half-a-million half defaulted on their PTPTN loans. Disregarding the obviously ungrateful ones who have the money and not want to pay it, the lot of us are struggling to pay up our student loans but PTPTN have been mercilessly adding on more and more fee to our already burdening loan.

What more, during my study years, my parents often had to come up with the cash first and there were so many semesters where the lot of us would get barred from examinations because PTPTN has been so kind to NOT bank in the money before the due date.

There would be lines and lines of students queuing up to get unbarred when the time taken could have allowed us more study time, reduced stress levels and emotional turmoil before the impending day of examination.

Looking back at the scars PTPTN has left me, the administration fee now seems even more ridiculous. Sooner or later, I will be defaulting on my loan and this is not because I don't want to pay it but because I can't afford to pay it.

KL is not cheap and two million people would agree with me. Trying to pay off my student loan when PTPTN is pulling my leash even tighter, would require ridiculous amounts of discipline, stomach tightening and not to mention, moolah, to succeed.