It is quite hilarious to read Ming Hoe's letter regarding polygamy and hence marriage being down to lust. I am shocked to hear thatI had always assumed that men and women got married just so that the man could enjoy some decent food and the woman can feel good letting off steam nagging him. Or, if the man is unfortunate and has married a feminist, do his own cooking and listen to her ranting about the superiority of women and all problems being due to men.

This is not the first time I have read such nave statements regarding polygamy but previously they have been from supposedly 'intellectual' women.

Polygamy/ marriage is about lust, as hunger is about food and thirst is about water. Lust, just like hunger and thirst, is a fact of life and only the dead are immune from it.

Of course, lust is a big factor in any marriage, I have yet to come across a marriage that has blossomed or even survived without it. In fact impotence is a common ground for divorce. However I am not saying polygamy/marriage is just about lust for love and trust are also extremely important, but it certainly is a major factor, it is the cement in the wall.

Regarding the absurd idea of curbing extramarital activities, what is Ming Hoe's suggestion if the culprit is a woman as in a recent high-profile case? Or does the writer assume that women do not experience lust? Draconian punishment will not prevent lust just as digging wells in all of Africa will not prevent thirst — this is a fact of life.

As for the reasons behind polygamy, for some it is a noble reason to give protection and security to a widow and her children and for others, it's a simple matter of desire, which is perfectly reasonable also.

We live in a free and open society and if a man wants to remarry and the woman concerned is happy to live in a polygamous marriage, then it is not the prerogative of others to interfere and pass judgement. This is a private matter. Many of the women involved in polygamous marriages are university graduates and professionals in the case of some second wives. They are not the simple school dropouts that some would have us believe.

Why is it that when a man takes a mistress, something that is traditionally common in the Chinese community no questions are asked, but when the question of polygamy arises it generates a storm of protest when it is better socially and morally?

Regardless of your stand on the issue of polygamy, it is better for a man to have a second wife and legitimate children rather than a mistress and illegitimate children.