It has prompted me to ponder why our local mainstream media let this young lady, Sarah Marbeck, appear prominently - one way or the other - on their front pages in recent days. I daresay there was intention there to catch the public's eye by associating the word 'Beckham' and 'Malaysia'- never mind if the link is tenuous at best and less than honourable.

There are things which everybody thinks about, perhaps subconsciously, but people seldom talk about them openly. But I think we should spell it out and question ourselves about it.

I think it's a bit sick how many young Asians, including Malaysians, adore David Beckham. I do not intend to interfere with people's freedom of thought or 'worship' - I am all for it, because otherwise we would never mature and grow.

I only wish to think about what this idolisation of Beckham means, and what it does to the way we look at ourselves and our own people.

I notice that many of us seem a little bit 'proud' to be seen talking with white people, or having white friends especially if they are blonde with blue eyes. It's no secret that in non-political contexts and situations, we even the Malaysian government treat our white guests with more respect than other foreigners.

For most young people, when it comes to the 'pecking order' of people they are proud to be seen with, it is most often than not the blonde, blue-eyed variety. Even the Japanese would lag behind and not make it to the top 10, let alone other Asians.

People with white boy friends or girlfriends are 'heroes'. It is no secret that many of our VIPs and/or their children would rather have a white spouse. White people are 'trophies'.

Like it or not, as far as Malaysians are concerned, white people are simply more cool. And the idolisation of David Beckham is but the most prominent manifestation of this mentality.

And today, we have sunk so low and pathetic that national newspapers seem to at least subconsciously take 'pride' in the fact that our country's name is associated with the world's most famous superstar.

Yes, we are immensely proud of the fact that one of us is fit enough to be one of Beckham's mistresses! Never mind that that person doesn't even stay here (but then if she had, she would not have met Beckham and 'rose' to become his mistress, right?).

But I like white people. I have spent some years in Europe and the US. At one time, I wished I had a white partner, too. So, it is not my intention here to spread hatred against white people. It is just that while I like white people, I love myself and my own people even more.

If we put our pride and self-esteem in the hands of others, and let others determine how much pride and self-esteem we deserve to have by virtue of whether they (the whites) would like to associate with us then I think there is something seriously wrong with ourselves, our country, our culture, and not just our newspaper editors.

I believe we cannot just passively surrender our happiness and let others decide if and when they like us, and therefore determining if and when we can feel proud and happy. We should take active charge of our own happiness and not let others control it.

Yes, we do not have blonde hair, blue eyes and a milky complexion. I am not going to make the self-deceptive argument that we are beautiful also 'in our own way' the real trend is that more of our young people wished they look like white people that their parents or their brothers and sisters.

The question now is, if physically, you or your spouse/partner is simply not white, do you still dream that you could be one of them? Do you still see being white as the highest point you could achieve or 'graduate' to?

It seems to me that we have to 'de-subjectivise' the relation between us and white people in our consciousness. What I mean is, we have to regard white people as 'the other', someone who is not me, and therefore whom I will never be like.

Therefore, it is normal for me not to have what the other (white) has. (Right now, pathetically, we regard it as abnormal for us not to have what whites have because we have 'subjectivised' them, seeing us as the same as them.)

We should appreciate the beauty of white people (if you find them beautiful, that is) objectively, in a detached manner, just like any other pieces of art work out there. It would be sad if we think we are inferior and keep asking ourselves 'Why can't I be like them ?'

Sad, because we are not them, and we will never be like them.We are beautiful in many other ways that they are not , something which we can only begin to appreciate if we stop admiring them).

And also sad because, in the long run, we will surrender our sovereignty and control over what we want to be considered beautiful we will let them dictate and define for us what is or is not beautiful.

Of course, I think it is even more pathetic to do "ban a Brad-Pitt commercial because it makes Malaysian men feel inferior". (The ministry was the only one who made our men feel inferior, not Brad Pitt.)

And if our mentality does not change, I promise you, we will reach a level where we'll be absolutely outraged if the local papers announce on their front pages tomorrow: "Singapore model bears Beckham's baby"!