I refer to ‘What can be done about rocky relationships?’ ( Malaysiakini , Dec 9) where I must add that children are in great need to be protected in circumstances of rocky relationships where the divorce is less than amicable

In a bitter divorce, the child’s welfare is often neglected where the feuding parties bicker over their own rights trying to gain an advantage over the other. The court would hear testimonies from both parties but rarely give much weight to what the child wants.

Where the children are of a young age, the mother normally gains custody of the children while the father has visitation rights. In view that the mother becomes a single parent after the annulment of the marriage, the father has the responsibility to provide for the ex-wife’s alimony and child maintenance.

The situation becomes tense when the father washes his hands of all responsibilities over caring for the family by failing to adhere to alimony and child maintenance and brainwashing the children on how bad the other parent is in order to gain leverage over the ex-spouse.

Children who remain neutral are abused by being bombarded by repeated over-exaggerated stories on how the other parent caused the failed marriage and is totally at fault when in reality, the fault is the result of both parents being unable to salvage the marriage.

Children need to have rights in a bitter divorce, include having a voice on what is wanted from each parent including the right to be treated properly, the right to stop any parent from constantly telling repeated one-sided stories and the right to ensure both parents conduct themselves properly toward the child.

The provisions of the Child Act need to be strengthened to include jail sentences to the delinquent parent who treats the child badly.

Obviously some parents need to see the inside of a jail cell in order to realise and reflect upon the conduct over the child where child abuse may not necessarily mean physical abuse but include mental abuse, where one parent constantly harasses the child to breaking point when the child does not totally agree with the abuser.

No statutory time limit

Such abuses must not have a statutory time limit, which means that a child wronged by one of the divorcing parents can still take action against the parent at any time for compensation.

Such child abuses can also happen when the child is already an adult, where the divorcing parent not getting custody in the earlier years still mentally abuses the child with continued repeated over-exaggerated stories, taking advantage of the child’s generosity and forgiveness to gain monetary advantage and even implicating the child in the parent’s own matters.

For example the divorcing parent may launch a court case against other family members, on a matter totally unrelated to the child, but this subjects the child to sub-judicial matters in bad faith and forces the child to conduct perjury with malicious intent to benefit the abusive parent, failing which dire consequences would fall upon the child.

Another example is the abusive parent pretending to have changed for the better, treating the child favourably to seek to temporarily stay at the premises of the child, who is now an adult, only to show his or her true colours once access has been granted.

Children need to be protected even when there is a lack of physical scars being evident in a bitter divorce as mental abuse is just as devastating, especially when it continues during adulthood. Protection such as compensation and jail time for the abusive parent is appropriate to ensure that the child is protected in a bitter divorce.

Not long ago, a couple was jailed and made to pay compensation to the child under Sweden’s laws for reprimanding their child using a cane. Our beloved country could use such tough laws in favour of the helpless child in view of the rising numbers of divorces.