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Just be honest to the arrogant

When Jose Mourinho declared himself as the ‘special one’ in 2004, it was during a spell filled with barbs, quotes, arrogance, humour and skill. He was considered as ‘arrogant’ but humorous.

Arrogance means ‘making yourself bigger’ whether publicly or just inside your own mind. Often it involves hurting others at the same time.

Arrogance is a defence mechanism, usually guarding against vulnerability and insecurity, often learned in childhood.

Arrogance is defined as: ‘an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions’.

Other names for arrogance are: egotism, conceit, grandiosity, and self-importance.

Ancient Greek literature refers to hubris, a form of arrogance in which a person thinks himself to be higher in status than other ordinary mortals. In other words, a god.

Generally, arrogant people won’t listen to what you have to say.

When someone is just making you mad with their arrogance, you might ask them, very politely, “May I ask how you became such an expert on this subject? Did you learn this from experience? Is there anything you know nothing about that I might be able to help you with?”

Often, the arrogant person will exert themselves by undermining others, and often they have in-built radar to focus on the ‘weaker’ co-worker.

Look at the circumstance. Why do you feel that a person is being arrogant? Have they been deigning to you or have they never addressed you? In the event that there has not been an episode that demonstrated to you that this individual feels better than you, don’t assume he or she to be presumptuous too rapidly. You may wrong him or her.

Arrogant individuals are truly very unreliable and insecure. They try to overwhelm and control since they fear being commanded and controlled.

Actually there is nothing they can say or do that can undermine you. Your sense of confidence and self-worth will prohibit you from being vulnerable to an arrogant person’s total inability to relate to others and the sometimes noxious or cruel things that come out of their mouths.

Face the arrogant person with the strong and confident realisation that you are well and strong.

It is better to ignore the arrogance of the person you are facing, just enjoy your encounter with them. Let them impart their knowledge or story they want to tell. Maybe there’s humour in their arrogance.

You might improve your listening skills

Try and ignore anything that they say or how they act, and they will probably stop bothering you eventually. Who knows, you might improve your listening skills or tolerance when you meet them.

If this isn’t working and the arrogant person is still getting on your nerves, tell them that you think they are being arrogant and really tell them how you feel. Don’t shout or swear or insult them more than is necessary, because then you will just look evil. Just be honest.

Ignoring an arrogant person may be effective in getting them to leave you alone, but recognise that arrogant people have a way of taking up the air in a room. So even though they’re not talking to you, you may still find them annoying to be around.

Try not to get into any type of debate with them, because they’ll never hear your side of the story and if they do, they will continually tell you you’re wrong.

Often times, arrogant people will try to make you feel insecure and at fault. He/she will do this in an attempt to demonstrate control over the situation.

If this happens to you, do not get mad at all, that’s what they want from you. Instead consciously understand their belittling actions and see their intended conclusion from their perspective.

Act wise and in control, but don’t escalate the situation by responding in an angry or hostile manner.

AZIZI AHMAD is an educator.

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