Soon it will be 25 years since I stepped on to Malaysian soil, I was and am a marriage migrant, one who came as a young bride, married to a Malaysian.

I had given up a well-established and well-paying job and upon coming here, had to start building on a marriage and establish new support systems. In those days, in a month, I could afford one, maybe two calls of three-minutes duration to chat with my family back home. It wasn’t easy but I thought in five years my troubles would be over when I would get Permanent Residence (PR).

I knocked on several doors before I got a job, fortunately and luckily my employers contributed to EPF. My friends who required licences to practice were not so lucky as PR came close to retirement for those of us who came here in the 90s. Due to the employment restrictions, I was on yearly employment contracts. After 17 years in an organisation, my employer said it was untenable to continue my contract, I was thrown out of the door, right in my 50s.

Children came and as years went by, they grew up in the uncertainty of my yearly visa renewals. At certain point, it was indeed easier for me to renew my domestic helper’s visa than my own, even though I was married to a Malaysian having two Malaysian children. PR eventually came, 21 years later, almost near retirement; though still unable to buy affordable housing

On paper, eligibility for PR is five years, but approvals can take longer. That being said, it is a faster process these days.

Rules are much different from what they were and my heart goes out to young Malaysian transnational couples who are unable to get the spouse visa until six months after their marriage, (can one expect newly-marrieds to be away from each other, have a heart please) and also cannot work, until they are on the one-year visa, which means effectively the non-Malaysian spouse has to be unemployed for almost a year.

What burden this is on the Malaysian, especially if the wife is pregnant or a homemaker? What a way for these young couples just starting out their lives, anxiously awaiting approvals and renewals, amidst rejections and employment restrictions?

Visas still come with the statement ‘prohibited from employment’ which makes it rather hard to get jobs. EPF for some reason looks at us spouses as foreigners and it is not compulsory for employers to contribute. If spouses do open an account, they are not permitted any withdrawals for housing, or for Malaysian children’s education, neither at age 55 can the withdrawal be done, kind of strange rule this is.

Tears flow with women vulnerable and in domestic abuse and the widowed who face difficulties single-handedly, without family support in a foreign land, more so their visas need to have sponsors and they cannot be employed, how then are they to support their Malaysian children?

Do spare a thought to the domestic worker whose hours of work are not regulated and are dependent on the compassion of their employers, or the migrant worker who leaves his wife and children to earn a living and for the development of this country, theirs, too, is a life too difficult.

Who will know of the yearning for our families or our silent tears, and the sacrifices made? Will it be a lifetime too late before the policy change is finally afforded to us migrants? We have left the comforts of our homes and our loved ones. Arise Malaysians, may you see us with a little more humanity? On International Migrants Day, may our lives be a bit easier, or is too much to ask?