Smita Elena Sharma may have re-affirmed what many Malaysians have experienced for so long. My family and I left Malaysia more than a year ago. Smita was right - we left Malaysia reluctantly, especially me. My wife and I had well-paid jobs, were debt-free and had only one child. We had great friends, wonderful relatives and a strong network of social circles to make life a thoroughly enjoyable journey. We could see however, that it was a fast eroding paradise.

Our employers were successful only because of political patronage. Our child remained a second-class citizen as far as education was concerned, and this was going to be only the first of many more discriminations to come. The public institutions could not be relied upon to do the right things. In fact, few bothered with doing the right thing. Malaysian society was disintegrating because the leadership was distracted in all sorts of ways.

We have been here in Melbourne, Australia for more than a year now. We had to start all over again. Re-build our careers. Start new relationships. Find and build our home. We bump into Malaysians all the time. They are all here for the same reason to give their future generations a fairer go. They are here to raise their children in a place where work ethics, intelligence and industry count for more than skin colour and political patronage. They are here where wrongdoings are highlighted and challenged and their perpetrators are put under the spotlight. They are here to give and take in a fair exchange.

Do we miss anything in Malaysia? Absolutely. We miss our family and friends. We miss, just as Smita wrote, the wonderful food. We miss the familiarity our previous home gave us. We were reluctant leavers.

Yet we were a lot more fortunate than many. Poor Malaysian's Emigration not an option, stuck here for example, rightly pointed out that many simply can't leave. Traditional destinations are not open to them as they don't meet the criteria. There are also many who, by default, remain in Malaysia. They cannot bear to sacrifice the life they have in Malaysia. Lifestyles many more times more opulent than the one my family and I enjoyed.

Some of these people have accused us of running away. Some say we are armed and equipped to fight for the less fortunate in Malaysia, to help bring about a more just and equitable country. By running away, so we have been accused, we have not discharged our moral responsibility to help bring about this change.

YMM in his letter Not giving up hope on Malaysia echoes this tune. It is an admirable tune. I hope one day it becomes a battle cry to bring down this racial and religious barricade. Such lofty aspirations were mine too, some 15 years ago. When I first returned to Malaysia after studying in Australia, I vowed not to follow the steps of those who left the country. I decided to stay and make Malaysia my home, and try to make it a better home for my fellow Malaysians as well.

Soon however, this decision was faced with the harsh reality of being a victim of discrimination. Let us not mince words, the vast majority if not all of us who are not bumiputeras are victims of discrimination. We put up with being victims because the scraps are always enough to fill our coffers.

In spite of such discrimination, most stayed on because there is money to be made. It wasn't to fight for equality that those who could leave decided not to. It was the fact that there was material wealth to be accumulated and it was also due to inertia. Our lives have simply continued without us pausing to think and plan ahead and, if necessary, make major changes. If we do, I cannot imagine anyone seriously believing that Malaysia offers a better chance of a better future for our children than many other countries.

The one thing which would swing my assessment is the total abolishment of the current pro-bumiputera policies, in toto. I don't see this happening, no matter what I do. Was it I who tucked tail and left, or have those who, recognising such a change would not come about, be the ones who tucked tail in remaining?

I decided I had not put up a sufficient fight after 15 years. I decided I was not about to spend another 15 years trying, while my child foregoes an opportunity to go and fight her battles elsewhere, where there is a fairer go for her.

Do I miss Malaysia? Only the people there. My family, relatives and friends. I remain a reluctant leaver. There are many things we do in life not because we want to, but because we need to. Leaving Malaysia was one of them.