Malaysia will be sending a Malaysian astronaut into space to carry out experiments on, of all things, top-spinning, 'batu seremban' (traditional children's game), batik painting and 'teh tarik'. This should really go into our Malaysian Guinness Book of Records as the biggest ever joke a country has pulled out and also as the most expensive.

I couldn't believe my eyes when I read about the news. What kind of headlines will Malaysia be making our astronaut returns? I wouldn't want to wait for that to happen. Probably, I would be taking a week's leave to hide my face beneath my bed sheet.

Is that the best that the science, technology and innovations ministry can think of for our experiments in space? What benefits will the experiments bring to mankind or even to Malaysian in particular? Any secondary school science students can figure out the answer even before the experiments are carried out.

Top-spinning in space? There is no gravity in space. You will end up with a 'top floating' instead of a top-spinning. Play 'batu seremban'? I doubt if the people in the ministry ever played 'batu seremban' before. The simple rule of playing 'batu seremban' is throwing and catching the 'batu seremban' before it falls on the ground.

In space, you will end up with all the 'batu seremban' floating around and not falling. You can even have your so so-call 'teh tarik' midway through the game without any worry that the 'batu seremban' will fall.

I will not even go into 'batik printing' and making 'teh tarik' in space. It was claimed that the programme will not cost anything as it is part of an offset arrangement for the purchase of Russian military aircraft. Well, there is still a cost implication if only indirectly. Don't they realise this?

I would rather send a Malaysian orang-utan into space at this point of time. At least it will save us Malaysians the embarrassment if it makes a fool of itself in space.