I have only been Malaysian 19 years and even less spent on Malaysian land proper; 13 years would be a conservative estimate. And here I share with you what those 13 years have told me, though admittedly, most of the sentiments are more recently formed.

I'm was really quite gutted not to be home during the recent 50th Merdeka celebrations even though I know for a fact that even if were I home, I would be doing nothing out of the ordinary on the day. We'd wake up late, watch some national TV, go out for a meal or so, laze around or maybe visit relatives since we're all on holiday - like any other public holiday.

But not being home made me want to make the day special - just so it feels like the special day it is, because in a way it would have been special back home even if we never do much. So I cooked myself sea bass for a treat. Incidentally, my university housemates bought 'nasi briyani' and offered me some; and again I was delighted of the coincidence.

Ours is a family that has never flown a Malaysian flag at home. We moan about the government. We moan about crime. We moan about hawkers overcharging, crazy drivers, corrupt policemen, the haze, strange 'money-wasting' buildings, insane price inflations, the currency, the economy, the litter, the smell, the corporate lifestyle, the media, heck - we even moan about people moaning.

I have never been to a Merdeka parade and we have always owned either Japanese or European cars. These and a ton of other things might say to you, if you're an average Malaysian, that we are not patriotic people. Some other people might recognise that everyone moans about all these things all the time regardless of where they are from and whether they are or not patriotic about their country.

All this noise about the scandals, the 'Negarakuku' video, the NEP, the recent spate of crime - what have they been saying constructively? Mostly blatant complaints. Would those in power please do something instead of talking so incessantly all the time? I don't care how many flags you fly or what type of car you drive; I think it goes much deeper than that. People say action speaks louder than words, but there are some actions that are more telling than others.

In school I hated history as a subject - which is funny - because I loved stories. You see, in history; the most important thing is not how to spell a king's name but cute little things like how the king liked walking about at night to see how his country was or which type of food he loved. It isn't about what date we did what, but why we did what we did and how it changed everything. The tests and education syllabus have gotten it all wrong - kids like to know small amusing tidbits of information, not numbers and names.

Like in history class, where they concentrate on the exactitude of facts, I think many Malaysians are missing the point. It is not when we became independent but what we have become since that and where we are heading. It isn't auditing whether we've been mostly successful or not; it is asking ourselves what made our successes and failures were and what are we going to do to avoid future failures and to ensure future successes.

It definitely isn't counting successes and sweeping failures under the rug. And most importantly (my current oft-repeated phrase), it isn't so much what the country can do for you, but what you can do for the country.

So though I moan so much, went abroad to study, speak better Mandarin than Malay (for the moment!) and don't drive a Proton, allow me to profess truthfully and outrightly - I love my country, my countrymen, my only home. Though I am bittersweet about it like so many other Malaysians, I still announce myself proudly and loudly, I'm a Malaysian. That is if you'd still have me, pretty please.