SATIRE Truth, as they say is, stranger than fiction. Which is why it is perhaps incumbent on us to look for literary words to impress upon the world the strange nature of our current predicament.
Being slightly versed in the literary, I have taken it upon myself to draft some examples for your perusing pleasure. Enjoy!
1) 1MDB explained via American Robert Frost's poem, 'The Road Not Taken'.
The road not taken
Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
1MDB version:
The account not paid
Two accounts diverged in a payment's path,
And sure I could not pay both
And be one company, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the Virgin Islands;
Then paid the other, just as Aabar,
though BVI perhaps and not PJS named,
Because it was crony and wanted monies;
Though as for that the Swift Code there
should have warned they aren't the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In transactions which records are kept dark.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere in courtroom testimonies perchance:
Two accounts diverged in a payment's path, and I -
I paid the one less known by,
And that has made all the difference.
2) Donation explained via Tolkien's 'All that is gold does not glitter' poem from his book, 'The Lord of the Rings'.
All that is gold does not glitter
JRR Tolkien
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
Donation version:
All that is gifted is not graft
All that is gifted is not graft,
Not all who receive money are guilty;
A leader that is strong is never corrupt,
The AG can absolve wrongdoings aplenty.
Of the scandal no tale will be spoken,
The truth will probably never spring,
Renewed shall be, 'I am unnamed' protestations,
The shameless shall remain king.
3) Macai explained via Shakespeare's St Crispin Day speech from the play 'Henry V'.
St Crispin Day Speech
Willliam Shakespeare
This day is call'd the feast of Crispian.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say "To-morrow is Saint Crispian."
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say "These wounds I had on Crispin's day."
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words -
Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester -
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day
Macai version:
Najib's Macai speech
This day is call'd the feast of Najib.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
And rouse him at the name of Najib.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say "To-morrow is Najib's Day."
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say "These wounds I had defending Najib."
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words -
Khairy, Salleh and Rahman,
Ahmad and Azalina, Mustapa and Nazri -
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Najib's Day shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of balacis;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my macai; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in Malaysia now a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Najib's day.
HAZLAN ZAKARIA is a member of the Malaysiakini Team.
