COMMENT Cancer is a life-changing event; not just a medical condition. It changes your priorities, causing you to make different life choices.

People facing cancer sometimes choose to delay their treatment in order to send their children to school.

Dr Ong Tee Chuan from the Haematology Department of Hospital Ampang, one of the important people behind the inception of The Max Schooling Project (or Sambung Sekolah in Bahasa Malaysia) in 2014 has seen this often.

Other times, children drop out of school. This is the why Max Foundation, a global NGO assisting families living with cancer, started The Max Schooling Project.

“This project is to make the children feel they are not different from their friends. For example, they could also go on a school trip. They deserve to enjoy the same school experience.”

“We’re also giving a chance to the community to help these children who are normally unnoticed,” Ong added.

Through the Max Schooling Project, hospital physicians refer children to The Max Foundation’s Malaysia team.

The Max Foundation matches children with an “adopter” who coordinates financial assistance on a monthly basis for the child. The Max Foundation carries out regular follow-up contact with the enrolled child and their family to provide financial and emotional support.

More than two dozen children have been beneficiaries of the programme.

Kak Ida and Ahmad

In my job, I have the opportunity to call all the families we work with, on the monthly basis. One of the families is Kak Ida’s.

We have talked on the phone for nine months now. Every month, I will chit-chat with Kak Ida. Her only child is one of the seven children who are the early beneficiaries of the project.

If I am lucky, I manage to talk briefly with her shy son, Ahmad.

The pain from her chemotherapy treatment cost her sleepless nights. She vomited blood and dealt with severe chest pains, she told me through our monthly phone calls. She is open about her ordeal.

It was a quiet Wednesday morning in August when we finally met for the first time. Amid nervousness, I greeted her and quietly standing behind her was Ahmad.

She smiled a charming smile, and in the next hour, she shared her journey - how it started and how far she has come.

Having been diagnosed with Hodgkin Lymphoma (a type of blood cancer) in 2012, she is not only a cancer survivor but a single mother to her teen son.

He was only 12 years old when she was diagnosed, and cancer was an alien concept. He was only aware that his mother was sick and dressed in a hospital gown for six months. He was taken care of by his grandmother during the difficult time.

Sole breadwinner

Kak Ida is a sole breadwinner - working at a factory while Ahmad goes to school. She also cares for her sick parents. They all live in a humble flat.

I asked her how she reacted to the cancer diagnosis.

“Treatment cost, how would I manage that?” - this was Kak Ida’s first thought. Her doctor referred her to the hospital social welfare department to ease the financial burden.

“My son is the motivation for me to keep going. (I thought) ‘I will do my best to take care of you, even though you’re being abandoned by your father’,” she said, choked up as tears rolled down her cheeks.

I paused. I reached for her hands and squeezed them gently.

Kak Ida said she had planned to quit her job after being hospitalised for six months. She felt guilty. She had been working in the factory for eight years by the time she was diagnosed.

In the eyes of her employer, her diagnosis did not change the fact that she was a good employee. Her employer not only visited her in the hospital and talked with her doctor, they also assured her she could continue to work while seeking treatment.

Now, after four years, she knows her health should be prioritised. She trusts her doctors and complies with their advice to improve her health. She wants to do the best for her son and her parents.

Love is unconditional

Every time she goes to the hospital, Ahmad will accompany her. He said he wants to make sure his mother is not fainting, especially during the bus ride to the hospital.

Ahmad is a lanky boy with a tanned complexion. Throughout my conversation with his mother, I noticed he was listening attentively.

“How do you feel knowing your mother has cancer?” I asked him.

“I feel sad seeing my mother in pain.”

His answer reminded me that love is unconditional.

As we finished talking, I realised Ahmad had opened up. He shared his dreams to become a policeman and to represent Malaysia in sepak takraw.

Through Kak Ida and Ahmad, I gain a deeper understanding of how cancer touches more than a patient.

It can be very difficult for some people to understand the needs of people living with cancer. But Kak Ida’s willingness to share her journey helps raise awareness and support for people living with cancer.

And through it all, a cancer survivor like Kak Ida remains a loving daughter and mother. Having cancer does not define her.

Part 1: ‘Families face financial meltdown when fighting cancer’

Yesterday: Surviving the financial cost of cancer

WAHEEDA HASBULLAH is a project executive at The Max Foundation team in Malaysia. The Max Foundation is a global health organisation that believes all people living with cancer have the right to access the best treatment and support.

The views expressed here are those of the author/contributor and do not necessarily represent the views of Malaysiakini.