"History is not the past. It is the present. We carry our history with us. We are our history. If we pretend otherwise, we literally are criminals."
– James Baldwin, "I Am Not Your Negro"

COMMENT | Reflecting on Baldwin’s words on history brought me back to the mid-90s. I remember sitting in my class, looking at my brown history book, listening to my history teacher as the fan hanging from the ceiling continued swirling. It was a hot, bright, sunny afternoon.

My attention was drawn particularly to the story of Tok Janggut – how he was brutalised for fighting against British colonial rule. I can still vividly remember how horrified I felt at that time, learning about the bloodied event. As a young girl, I understood that the world around me was plagued with violence and atrocities.

I was then taken to the next chapter in the history book. A chapter about how the elite group called Umno had successfully negotiated with the British to gain independence.

The book portrayed Umno as heroes, the only heroes who fought for the independence of our nation we now call Malaysia. The glorification of Umno's achievement in the book was unceasing. The lionisation reverberated everywhere.

I told myself something was amiss. "What about Tok Janggut?”, “Why weren’t people like Tok Janggut included in this narrative?”, “Didn’t he fight for our independence?” These are the questions I asked myself.

There was this feeling that I had in my chest that was unsettling. I felt the history book had skipped an important episode of our nation’s history. I knew there was a break in the chain of events but I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was. My curiosity was left unattended...