Theatre veteran D’Cruz is back after battling cancer, lockdown

MALAYSIANSKINI | Marion D’Cruz is an iconic figure in the local arts scene and one of the pioneers of contemporary dance in Malaysia.

Now 70, she is back after a long hiatus to give us “ItSelf TerJadi”, which she not only wrote but will also perform.

It is a theatrical piece with D’Cruz sharing her thoughts and feelings as a woman who had to deal with cancer, Covid-19 and ageing.

In an interview, D’Cruz said that “ItSelf TerJadi” was not something that she started off planning to do.

"I started writing because it was lockdown and there was nothing much to do,” said D’Cruz.

She kept writing and during a Zoom chat with friends, D’Cruz mentioned what she had written and read some of it to them. This led to more reading over Zoom, and a suggestion came in that it should be shared with more people.

“That is why it is called ‘ItSelf TerJadi’. I feel it had its own engine and it kind of rode on by itself.”

The last performance D’Cruz created for the stage was “Gostan Forward” (2009) which was directed by Mark Teh.

Between 2009 to 2018 it was not only performed in Kuala Lumpur, Penang and Johor Bahru but it was also staged in countries like Singapore, Japan, Finland and Thailand.

Cancer diagnosis

In 2019, D’Cruz was diagnosed with stage two breast cancer.

She recalled that things looked fine during a check-up but then she discovered a lump on her breast while in the shower and thought it would go away. When it did not, D’Cruz sought medical advice.

“I was in shock, denial, a lot of rage. Fear, a lot of fear,” said D’Cruz, adding she went through the five stages of grief - with acceptance being the last one.

The illness resulted in D’Cruz undergoing a mastectomy of her left breast and going through chemotherapy. It has been four and a half years now.

"My focus completely shifted to dealing and coping with the illness. I was still working. I mean, I took a semester off (teaching), but after that, I was working. “

D’Cruz said she did not wish to keep creating new performances, but “ItSelf TerJadi” evolved into something she wanted to share with the public.

“We have our own space, and it's a small, intimate studio, and it's easy to work in. So no harm trying. Let's just go from, you know, Zoom to room and see what happens.

“These stories I've written, according to people who have seen it, are worth sharing. They're very personal, and raw, and maybe they are quite unusual in that I don't think people talk about their illness in a public way very often. Even for me, it's quite strange.

“But maybe it's needed, you know, maybe it's important to have the space, support and the courage to say, yeah, this is what happened, and here I am still kind of thing, “D’Cruz explained.

Reading her stories

Describing how “ItSelf TerJadi” will be staged, D’Cruz said,” I just sit and I read stories.”

"Most of the time I'm just sitting at a desk reading stories. Once in a while, you know, I get up and do something, but it's not a dance performance. It's more theatre than anything else.”

She had originally written 59 stories but for this performance but will be reading 50. D’Cruz admitted she hadn’t memorised everything yet.

“The shortest story is one word and the longest story is 428 words. So it starts with cancer stories, but then it goes all over the place without a plan.

“It talks about my family, and then it talks about some strange incidents that happened to me. The bulk of it is cancer-related stories and coping with cancer. The way I coped with it."

So far, D’Cruz has read these stories to 50 people via Zoom and their responses have been good.

“They are personal stories. Some of them are very raw. It is not prescriptive. It's not like this is how your life should be.

"That’s my personal story. It's how I deal with certain things,” D’Cruz describing her work.

The audience will be able to relate to them based on their personal experiences with the subject she is talking about.

“The stories are so varied and although it is about cancer and Covid-19 and all that, it's not all gloom and doom. Some of it is very funny.”

"I’m able to laugh at myself. So, some of it is hilarious.”

‘No regrets’

Looking back, D’Cruz never imagined she would have the career that she has had.

"Of course, you plan things but you don't plan to become a doyen of the dance scene.

“Some things happen because you planned for them to happen but other things you say yes to because it's a good opportunity. And then some things you say no to.

"My career has been like that. I've travelled and been very lucky. I've had a lot of opportunities.”

“In terms of my career, yes, I can look back without regrets. In terms of my life, oh, I have a lot of regrets, but I try to look at them as learning experiences," she said.

Reminiscing her past, D’Cruz shared how she started dancing in school concerts at age six and taking ballet when she was eight years old, going on to learn Malay dance in school and university while tackling Bharata Natyam during the holidays.

She continued learning more about classical Malay dance for her master’s degree and later travelled, to other countries and learnt other forms of dance.

In New York, she took up modern and contemporary dance, in Jakarta she learnt Balinese dance, and in Japan, she learnt the local dance forms.

Recalling her decision to study dance at university, D’Cruz said: “My dad was not very happy about me doing performing arts, but my mom was kind of okay with it.

"I promised my father that I would do my master’s degree so that I could teach at a university. He passed on by the end of my first year, but I went ahead and did it because it was a promise that I made to him.”

To this day, D'Cruz is still engaged in academia as she teaches at Akademi Seni Budaya dan Warisan Kebangsaan (Aswara).

“Armed” with a Bachelor’s Degree in Performing Arts and a Master’s Degree in Dance from Universiti Sains Malaysia, she is well-versed in a variety of classical as well as contemporary dance styles.

In 1983, she formed Marion D'Cruz and Dancers and performed extensively not only in Malaysia but also abroad.

The following year, along with theatre directors Chin San Sooi and Krishen Jit, writer KS Maniam and visual artist Redza Piyadasa, she co-founded Five Arts Centre, which was dedicated to generating alternative art forms and images in the contemporary arts landscape.

She is still very much involved in Five Arts Centre, which has now been around for 40 years.

“ItSelf TerJadi” will run four performances from Dec 7 to Dec 10 at Five Arts Centre's studio in GMBB, downtown KL.

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