(IPS) Be it India, Nepal or Sri Lanka, a widow is considered inauspicious and a harbinger of evil, often branded as a witch and ''husband eater'', and shunned as the very sight of her is believed to bring failure in one's ventures.

Across South Asia, widows are turned out of their houses, not invited for any wedding or other family functions, and deprived of property rights.

They are twice discriminated against — because they are women and because they are widows, pointed out delegates at the first South Asian Congress on capacity building in widows that ended in New Delhi last Sunday.

''I lost my husband in an accident when I was still in my 20s,'' recalls Prabhjyot Kaur from Punjab in north-east India. ''I was called khasuma nu khaniye (husband eater) and rand (which closely matches randi , meaning prostitute in Punjabi). People taunted me, saying jawan rand to budha sand , meaning a young widow can turn even an old man into a stud.''

''I brought up my nephew as my own son. Yet his wife objected to my signing a certificate as a witness, because she thought I would bring bad luck,'' recounted Dulcy Nona de Silva from Sri Lanka's Women and Media Collective. ''But my nephew was adamant and insisted I sign as a witness.

Social pretext

Under the pretext of social and cultural norms and taboos, families also humiliate and economically marginalise a widow to deprive her of her rightful share in property.

The only ray of hope appears to be Bhutan where widows can live with dignity and respect, according to Pem Wangdi from Bhutan's National Women's Association.

There are no figures on the number of widows in the region. But India alone has some 40 million widows, said Mohini Giri, former chairwoman of the national Commission on Women.

Almost all countries in South Asia are guilty of violation of human rights of widows, Sujata Manohar, member of India's National Human Rights Commission said. These are embedded in the patriarchal and feudal practices and gender discrimination in inheritance laws.

For example, many in north-west India swear by the age-old practice of sati , where a widow immolates herself at her husband's funeral pyre. In north India, widows are forced to marry their brothers-in-law so that the in-laws can retain their hold over property.

Unaware of legal rights

Almost 40 percent of widows in India are turned out of their houses, and thousands abandoned in homes for the destitute or branded mentally unstable and locked in asylums.

But widows are often unaware of their legal rights or are too helpless to fight them.

Salma Ali, from Bangladesh National Lawyers Association (BNLA), spoke of a young widow, Shahanara Begum, who handed over documents of a shop owned by her deceased husband to her in-laws in good faith. Her father-in-law declared the shop in his name and turned her out of the house, until BNLA fought her case in the courts.

The women also subjected to social ridicule and taunts. Adding a new dimension to the social stigmatisation of widows are armed conflicts, which have led to a sharp rise in the number of widows caught in the crossfire.

These conflicts include violence in disputed Kashmir between India and Pakistan, Sri Lanka's conflict with Tamil militants seeking their own homeland, and the war between Maoist rebels and the government in Nepal. Add to these the Afghan widows living in refugee camps in Pakistan.

The situation is worse for those whose husbands are considered militants or terrorists — they cannot avail of any government compensation or support for themselves and their children.

Recounts Hamida Nayeem from the University of Kashmir, a state that has more than 20,000 widows of men killed either by militants or Indian security forces, ''Widows of those killed by security forces have to get an 'innocence certificate' to avail of any monetary relief.''

As a result, many widows and orphans are left unattended to because it is difficult for them to get such a certificate from the state, she says. Only widows of men killed by militants are entitled to government relief of US$21,000 but in some of these cases too the women are yet to receive the money, says Nayeem.

Growing number of widows

There are at least three tiny hamlets with 10 families in Kashmir, which have 11 widows, 31 orphans and just three men. No monetary relief has reached them, she says. In another village in Bandipora area in Kashmir, 70 percent of the women have been widowed and 90 percent of children orphaned, she said.

''The problem of appallingly growing number of widows is so grave that even if the state government launches rehabilitation projects, they will not make much difference,'' Nayeem asserted.

Manipur in India's north-east, another hotbed of insurgency by groups fighting for independence, has some 400,000 widows, said Kim Gangte, former member of Parliament from Manipur.

The Manipur toll has also increased with the rising incidence of injecting drug abuse and HIV/Aids. ''Aids widows are facing further stigmatisation, widowhood and the Aids tag,'' pointed out Margaret Owen, founder of the Empowering Widows in Development Network, based in the United Kingdom.

The condition of Afghan widows who fled from Afghanistan to seek shelter in refugee camps in Pakistan is equally pathetic. Rukshanda Naz from the Aurat Foundation in Pakistan recounted the condition of Jallozai camp that has about 5,000 Afghan widows, many of who are disabled.

Sexually exploited

The widows have to pay hefty sums of money at the border check posts to get in, and many are sexually exploited by men in the camps. The men also misuse the widows' identity cards to get rations.

Other Afghan widows in refugee camps cannot get medical or any other aid and do not know how and where to earn in a foreign land to support themselves and their children, according to Naz.

In Sri Lanka, the conflict between the Tamil militants and the government ruined the fabric of society, said Nona de Silva, herself a widow. ''A large number of young widows need to be made economically independent, and despite the high rate of literacy — 88 percent — there are no jobs,'' she said.

The situation is no better for those who do get monetary support from state, argues Asha Das, former secretary in India's Ministry of SocialJustice and Empowerment. In such cases, the family members, with an eye on the widow's money, resort to threats and blackmail to extort it from her, and prevent her from remarrying.

When well-meaning groups tried to rehabilitate about 2,000 widows left behind after the Kargil conflict between India and Pakistan in 1999 through remarriage, it was found that often men wanted to marry the widows for the economic support offered by the government, Giri said.

Inadequate laws

Often government laws are inadequate to protect the rights of the widows.

In Nepal, there is no special support from the government to widows, except for a meagre one and half dollars given every month to elderly widows. Sri Lanka has no specific social policies that provide administrative or legal remedies, or financial support, to widows, says de Silva.

But some success stories are emerging. Widows in Kerala in southern India, came together to form a Kerala Widows Association to help them gain employment, and extend legal aid to help them claim their rightful share in property.