SATIRE | Ways for a corrupt politician to get away, freely

R Nadeswaran


SATIRE | “Boss, the world record for high jump is 2.45 metres – a little over eight feet,” one of the two the bodyguards told the Datuk Seri. Jumping over the fence was ruled out. After spending a few days in the slammer, it was not something he wanted to hear, but was forced to.

The millions he had amassed did not matter anymore, His fleet of luxury cars had been seized and all his bank accounts frozen. What was left was something precious – his personal freedom and that mattered most. More time with the enforcers means more spilling of the beans, naming more accomplices, the hidden assets and the crooked officials who had provided him cover all these years.

“You can do a pole vault. That Swedish guy Mondo Duplantis vaulted 6.18 metres – more than 20 feet – in February this year.” The chatter within the heavily tinted windows of the black Alphard was in hushed tones. The last the Datuk Seri wanted to hear was: “Tak sempat bawah galah yang kita siapkan.” (Didn’t have time to bring the pole we prepared). Time was the essence of the well-thought-out execution of the plan.

There is only one entrance and one exit to the sprawling building complex on the hill. It would indeed be foolhardy to drive through the barriers as there was already a notable presence of armed personnel at the gate. Even if crashing through is successful, what would happen if they open fire?

The road which ran along the perimeter fence was one-way. If driven at the designated speed limit of 30kph, it would take more than a minute to get to the exit and every second will be precious.

In those fleeting moments, it also occurred to him that any “disappearing act” must be believable and at all costs. The tips and the help that were rendered by third parties must never be known. He couldn’t betray anyone, anymore.

Scaling the fence may not be realistic – being a shade lighter than Thai golfer Kiradech Aphibarnrat, such a story will not make it that credible. At the same time, his thinking was on overdrive. One phone call did the trick...

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