The government-controlled mainstream media is trying so hard to convince us that the English language experiment is turning into a thumping success that it is funny. I would like to say: Nice try. The more they try, the more foolish they look.

Sure, day one of primary school one went by 'smooth-sailing'. The newspapers splashed stories and photographs of happy children and capable teachers. Nice selection. Interestingly, in years past, news reports of first schoolday were of frightened kids looking lost while doting parents look on their humanness for all to see.

This year the children gleefully stare into projected images from snazzy laptops (of undisclosed prices). Somehow, this year no kids appeared to have cried on their first schoolday. Have they overcome their emotions? But I would assume some did cry. Or will they in latter years when they realise they were pawns in a hasty, ill-conceived project?

So much was made of the fact PMR English performed its best in 10 years. The passing rate soared by 7.5 percent, from 62.4 percent last year to 69.9 percent.

Education Ministry director-general Abdul Rafie Mahat proposed on Dec 30, 2002, that we are prepared for this experiment, and the government's measures to raise the roof of English fluency in the last few months are to be applauded.

I have five reasons for my hesitation to the optimism.

First, what's so great about the PMR results? The increase in the pass rate was big, but the level of English fluency in reality remains undesirable. It is not clear if the dramatic improvement is due to the passing mark being lowered or students' performance did indeed improve. If the ministry did their maths be it in English or Malay, it does not matter they would find that the failure rate was 31.3 percent. Almost one third of students will have to learn two core subjects on which they depend to gain knowledge, cognitive skills and logical thinking in a language they failed to pass.

Second, our attention has been drawn to the wrong group. It's the Standard One, Form One, and Lower Six students who have to learn Mathematics and Science in English all of a sudden. PMR students enter Form Four this year; do I really have to point this out?

The passing rate of UPSR English scored as follows: an increase of 5.3 percent, from 58.1 percent in 2001 to 63.4 percent in 2002. The passing rate is not so high; the failure rate was 36.6 percent. Not that different from the PMR results, granted, but not as good and certainly nothing to beat our chests about. Just over one third of Form One students failed English last year.

Third, when we need a hotline for public education in core subjects, something is seriously wrong. This is being touted as a wonderful service. Parents with queries can dial in for help. But, think about it, this is so ridiculous, it is embarrassing. What country in the world has a hotline for basic education?

Any massive change in the education system ought to be so thoroughly thought out and carefully executed that 'distress' services are not necessary at all. Of course, the ministry wishes to demonstrate that it is responsive to people. A bit late, wouldn't you say? If the ministry had been responsive to public concerns and criticisms at the earlier conception stages, they might have made the right decision and abandoned this strange fancy experiment.

Fourth, if we have to draw so much attention to IT gadgetry, perhaps it is to hide something lack of substance, for instance.

Fifth, if we have to prepare scripts for teachers to read out like robots in class in a language even they have problems with, we are surely doomed. The ministry's assurance that they do indeed have the scripts is far from re-assuring.

But the government media continues to parley the charade.

Reporting on the first schoolday, the New Straits Times splashed on its front page a photograph of a lesson in progress in a Standard One class. A pupil was filling in the blanks of a sentence in English written in chalk on the blackboard. (Strangely, the day before, it was all about laptops and cartoon figures in Kedah, Kelantan and Terengganu.)

The lines on the board read:

How are you?

I am fine, thank you?

No one unfortunately, not even the NST editors notice the punctuation error. On the first day of school, the first thing this group of pupils learned had a glaring error. A few weeks of intensive teacher training just may not have been sufficient.

Kids everywhere are impressed with computer gizmos, but schooling is supposed to be the work of the Education Ministry, not the 'Ministry of Impression'. And how long can this continue?

What happens in Standards 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6? More cartoons? Don't they get enough of that from TV? Has the 'Ministry of Impressionable Education' considered the possible adverse impacts on learning if children become disinclined to read unless given constant stimuli. Meaningful and lasting learning has to come from within a person.

So, we have arrived at a new dawn. The national experiment with teaching Mathematics and Science in English has begun.

Or are we at a twilight zone for education?