SATIRE If you are the newly-made admiral of a pirate fleet plundering the Caribbean, loyalty from those under your command is perhaps one of the first things that you should look to.

That is, if you do not want an enterprising, loosely-allied captain to turn his guns on you or stick his blade into your back, while you are otherwise occupied in the heat of pitched battle, rapine or plunder.

Treasure, after all, is the rule on the high seas, and he who dares, is strong enough and possesses the cunning to pull it off, will win all the spoils.

More than one captain had to make quick work of his or her deputy or second-in-command to head off a sudden loss of height from the neck up, having to walk the plank, dangle on a hangman's noose, or, more mercifully, marooned on some godforsaken desert island off the shipping and pirating lanes.

So what would you do, before any of that unpleasant work has to take place? Even for pirates, fighting can be hard work, especially against those as ruthless and bloodthirsty as you.

Well, you make sure that only your handpicked captains and their trusted henchmen command and crew the ships under your control, much like if you are a nervous head of government with something to hide and reason to fear prosecution or discontent.

You would of course purge those you do not trust from the institutions of your government, much like a pirate admiral would appoint only captains and crews whom he knows and trust into his flotilla.

But it may not be an easy feat as ships are the main source of livelihood of pirate captains and crews alike, just like some members of government institutions have their honour and integrity still intact and belief in public duty is held sacred.

And thus those targeted will defend their piratical berth or honourable post tooth and nail, or rather, with cutlass and musket for the pirates.

As such, whenever a new pirate leader arises to become chief plunderer of any fleet, one can expect tumultuous times ahead, for better or for worse. There will be culls and purges ahead, in addition to the rapine and plunder already in the mix.

Though perhaps it should be reminded that, despite their bad reputation, pirates do govern according to democratic vote in each ship's company and on the council of captains, they have ship's articles that guarantee fair treatment of all ship's hands from the lowly ship's boy to the high-and-mighty plundering captain.

And any and all may question even the captain, when it comes to ship's parlay, where all will have room to speak, criticise and maneuver. Of course while this is so, piratical society and ship's crew, fair or not, still depend on strength and ruthlessness in the end.

After all, they are pirates and buccaneers, what else can one expect of those whose business it is to plunder and lay waste to the hard-earned trade and labour of others.

The greater irony perhaps is when democratically-elected heads of government choose such strong-arm tactics and draconian oppression to stay in power and wiggle out of excesses and offences, belying the democratic principles and freedoms that they are supposed to safeguard and represent.

In any case, when a newly-made pirate admiral or newly a-plundering democratically elected public official is in the house, we can expect rough seas and terrible storms ahead. Batten down the hatches, me mateys.

HAZLAN ZAKARIA is a member of the Malaysiakini team.