Several former Operasi Lalang detainees last night shared the horrors they endured while in detention under the Internal Security Act (ISA), some of which included beatings and mental torture.

Recounting her experience, Women's Aid Organisation member Irene Xavier wasted no time in confirming that women, too, were indeed beaten during the detention.

"They did beat me, and when they beat me, there was no woman police escort.

"The reason they beat me was because they claimed I was lying, that they found the truth from other detainees. On that premise, the investigating officer got angry and beat me," Irene said to shocked faces of some 150 people present during the forum held at the Kuala Lumpur and Selangor Chinese Assembly Hall last night.

The forum, titled "My Side of Story" was part of commemoration activities for the 30th anniversary of much-criticised Operasi Lalang.

Former prime minister Dr Mahathir Mohamad, who has been slammed for the ISA detentions carried out in October 1987, did not make an appearance despite being invited to the forum.

Irene (photo) said her experience was very "demeaning" and one that she believed was aimed to confuse detainees to make them psychologically dependent on the interrogators.

Describing some of the interrogation tactics, she said she was repeatedly asked names of people she remotely knew.

"When they keep asking you, your memory comes back. Why I met them, what I said to them, all of those things became very fresh in my mind.

"During interrogation, I tried very hard to forget names, which I didn't succeed during the (initial) 60 days (of detention).

"After that until now, I have a problem with names of people. For no reason, I forget names; I attribute this to the interrogation techniques," Irene said.

Apart from disturbing methods employed to interrogate her, Irene said she was also "praised" at times.

"They told me 'you are a talented leader, you are wasting talent by being a communist'. They also said, 'why don't you support (former MIC president) S Samy Vellu, we can make sure you become Wanita head of MIC'.

"... they also said I should migrate to Australia. (All these things) messed up my mind," she said.

Difficult keeping track of time

Asked later by lawyer cum activist Haris Ibrahim whether they had trouble keeping track of time, Irene admitted that it was difficult to do so.

"I used to scratch using a stick from the broomstick, I would scratch on the wall for every day that passed," she said.

For the founder of Women's Development Centre and All Women's Action Society (Awam), Lim Chin Chin (photo), who had organised a demonstration prior to her arrest, the question of whether she was tortured or otherwise depended on the definition of torture and how it is experienced.

"Torture means the practice of inflicting pain on someone or it being used as a means to control someone to achieve a goal; it can be physical or mental.

"In this sense, we were all tortured, not only us but our families as well, as they had to endure the agony of not knowing where we were," she said.

Lim said she did not receive any visit from her family during the first three weeks of detention.

"Imagine what my husband had to endure, my husband of three months," she said.

And when they did finally meet, the meeting only lasted 10 minutes, she recalled.

She admitted that she was frightened of what interrogators could do to her.

Menacing remarks, insinuations made

"They made menacing remarks and insinuations, and I believed they could actually carry them out.

"I was completely in their hands, there was nobody and nowhere I could turn to," she said.

Following the initial 60 days of detention, Lim's detention was extended for two years and she was sent to the Kamunting Detention Centre.

"It weighed heavily on us. How long were we going to be detained, given that the ISA allowed indefinite detention?

"A convicted criminal knows how long he will be imprisoned, but we didn't. We were completely at the mercy of the minister of home affairs. It's difficult to talk about it, even now," said Lim as she paused momentarily.

Lim and Irene were among four women who were detained at the Kamunting detention centre. Both had been accused of being "communists".

Parti Sosialis Malaysia president Dr Nasir Hashim believes that interrogators would get promoted if they were able to break them.

"In my cell, they once stopped the air ventilator. I couldn't breathe as my room was underground.

"Once the room shook, I heard (the sounds of) aeroplanes and jets, it was like we were at war. Later, I found out I was at Bukit Aman," Nasir said.

To keep his sanity, Nasir said, he coped by reading the Quran, painting and even became an electrician and planted an apple tree.

"I was even exposed to acupuncture, although they didn't use needles but paper clips that were sharpened," Nasir smiled to nervous laughter from the audience.

Suara Rakyat Malaysia (Suaram) adviser Kua Kia Soong gave tips on preparing for the possibility of such detentions.

"We should think of our opponents as paper tigers.

"When (former prime minister) Dr Mahathir  was so strong, the great 'Mahafiraun', he had advisers, speech writers. But after he retired, he's talking rubbish most of the time," Kua said.

He also stressed the importance of remaining steadfast in political ideas.

"It's good that many young people participate in Bersih rallies (but) you have to know what you're fighting for.

"They want (prime minister) Najib (Abdul Razak) to fall. Is that all?

"Najib falls and then what? Mahathir comes in, for 20 more years?" Kua (photo) asked.

'Work to repeal other repressive laws'

Meanwhile, Lim said while the ISA has since been abolished, it was important for everyone concerned to work to repeal the other repressive laws in force, such as the Security Offences (Special Measures) Act (Sosma), Prevention of Terrorism Act (Pota) and Prevention of Crime Act (Poca) "before they are used on more people".

"Mahathir had used the ISA to his advantage. This is the reason to ensure that such draconian laws are not used again.

"We must also demand the reinstatement of an independent judiciary. We should demand this from all parties running in the general election," Lim said.

Irene agreed with this.

"While Najib took away the ISA, he put in place other things. The ISA was such a dreaded thing that when something else comes in place, it doesn't match up to the ISA," Irene said.

Asked whether an apology from Mahathir would suffice, Kua said it would.

"We are asking him to apologise, it's as simple as that.

"We don't want him detained, we don't believe in detention without trial. All we are asking for is a very sincere apology," he said.

Calls have been made by former ISA detainees and NGOs for Mahathir to apologise for carrying out Operasi Lalang.

A total of 106 people were detained under the ISA during the operation in October 1987.

Mahathir, who was then prime minister and home minister, has repeatedly said that the operation was conducted by the police and that he had no power to object to the detention orders.