On July 25, 2016 I witnessed a terrorising scene which will forever hunt my moral conscience. An evil empress which will accompany me wherever I go.

I, Syed Saddiq, an unwilling victim of the global rise of hedonism, was forced to attend the Selena Gomez concert for infidels and sex-crazy maniacs. The concert was inevitably a hidden tactic employed by the Jews or ‘Freemasons’ (don’t forget the Chinese) to weaken one’s faith and iman.

It was intentionally designed to ensure that the young generation divorce themselves from religion completely as they consume the adulterous lyrics like, ‘I love you like a love song’ and ‘Kill em’ with kindness’. Thousands of Malaysians from all backgrounds swarmed the ‘hell ground’ in pursuit of the brainwashing session.

Evidently these Malaysians didn’t represent the true spirit of Malaysia which respects choice and embraces diversity. Evidently these Malaysians didn’t respect the faith of Islam. The fact that Selena Gomez performed in the most populous Muslim state (Indonesia) less than two days before is immaterial.

Before Selena the faith-breaker arose from the underworld, the audience was greeted with the display of nauseating patriotism through the singing of the mind-blasting National Anthem, Negaraku. The crowd couldn’t be tamed as they head-banged while singing the National Anthem.

I suspect that they were under the heavy influence of alcohol and drugs. Despite the fact there have been no reports of alcohol and drug abuse throughout the concert, I suspect that special drugs called ‘oxygen’ and ‘having a life’ were used to intoxicate the audience.

At around 9.15pm, the crowd just froze in silence as they witnessed Selena the faith-breaker hovering on stage. As expected, she was theoretically naked if we apply the subjective definition of the Taliban. She wore a sex-inducing, mind-boggling, faith-breaking long silk pants and the Zionist-associated Turtleneck. She was indeed naked despite adhering to the dress code placed by the democratically elected state government.

When she started singing, the crowd just lost their minds and started stripping naked. A mass sex orgy took place. Again, this wasn’t reported by the media as they didn’t truly understand the definition of a ‘sex orgy’. Like seriously, how can singing in masses while occasionally raising one’s hands not be considered a sex orgy? It should!

The mesmerising Selena Gomez stripped the audience naked of their faith with her mind-controlling lyrics. Despite having no proof that the Muslims here are hell-bound and have weak iman/faith, I will just presume that Selena’s concert which didn’t last more than one-and-a-half hours is powerful enough to deconstruct their years and years of religious teachings and faith-building.

‘Let’s just presume everyone is weak’

Better be safe than sorry. Let’s just presume that everyone is weak. Let’s just presume that everyone are animals who can’t control their sexual urges. Let’s just presume that the self-righteous are always right, therefore granting us the power to label others who oppose us as ‘kafir harbi’ and ‘Muslim-liberal neraka’. Better be safe than sorry, UNLESS it is about corruption.

“Who are we to judge,” you might ask? We are the guardians of religion. The Guardians of the Ummah. We will decry a woman without the hijab but shut our lips when billions of dollars are stolen from the people. We will perform special prayers to oppose a one-and-a-half hour performance by Selena but will rub shoulders with those who have cheated and stolen billions from the Malaysians for years.

We will label you ‘kafir harbi’, unless you’re in power and can send us to perform the haj by using the money stolen from the people. We will blame the creeping culture of ‘maksiat’ for the floods and poverty which plague our country. No, never! Definitely it’s not our failure to govern properly which led to those very problems.

“Who are we to judge”? We are the uninvited, unelected, unethical, self-appointed, self-righteous liberators of the Ummah. The Selena-slayer, guardians of the corrupt.

SYED SADDIQ SYED ABDUL RAHMAN is a part-time lecturer at Universiti Islam Antarabangsa (UIA) Malaysia and is Asia’s best debater, winning the United Asia Debate Championship in May 2015.