You don't often encounter Siti Nurhaliza in a miffed mood. Malaysia's best-selling chanteuse is usually all sugary and safe. She has posed in a Red Crescent uniform, which says it all really. You know how some people smile only with their lips? Well, she seems to smile with every fibre of her being. This is why she is adored by Malaysians of all three sexes, surely a prerequisite of a genuine star.

Unlike many other popsters, her career has smoothly run without any disruptive controversies. She does not have a junkie husband who blew his brains out with a shotgun. She has never made a music video which offended the Vatican. In the Malaysian context, she has never been nabbed for "close proximity" or for drunk-driving. I have to admit that she sometimes gives me a toothache, but I like her all the same.

But recently she came out with an unusually strong statement. You could actually picture her Maybelline-sponsored features setting itself in a stern cast while saying it. The subject was music piracy. She said that the culprits should be jailed for life instead of the current puny punishments they stand to receive.

What have we here? Is piracy really such a problem that it can incur the wrath of someone normally so sweet? I hate to disappoint you, but it is. Malaysia has an appalling record when it comes to copyright protection of music and movies.

Any pasar malam will be strewn with stalls selling illegal videos, VCDs and CDs. I can hear those lilting sounds now: "Laser copy, very clear one. If not clear, come back next week. I change for you." The fact that the movies themselves can look like they were shot underwater, or have people walking in front of the screen, does not deter potential punters.

I'm not going to pretend that I have never succumbed. Like Oscar Wilde, I can resist everything except temptation. For example, I wager that there isn't a single Malaysian schoolboy who has not surreptitiously gone up to the seller and said these immortal words: " Boss, blue ada ke? "

It was only later that I realised how serious a crime piracy is. Like a fool, I had assumed that I was merely buying cheaper versions of the stuff sold in those proper shops with walls. But they are not. Piracy is theft. I don't think Steven Spielberg will be reduced to penury as a result of our pasar malam traders, but I am more concerned about the welfare of our own artists, who deserve better.

I am appealing, dear reader, to your conscience. Look into your heart. Are you willing to live in a society in which Awie earns so little that he can wear only pathetic rags? Can you tolerate a situation in which Ziana Zain can afford to take the Intrakota bus just once a day? Will you stand by and do nothing if Ida Nerina has to wander around the streets saying, "Gimme food, gimme food"? I hope not.

The life sentence that Siti Nurhaliza proposed may seem harsh, especially since a convicted killer like former cabinet minister Mokhtar Hashim can walk around free after less than two decades. But it's mad and sad that pirated things can be sold so brazenly, even near police units. We don't want to give people the impression that the police and enforcers are somehow bribed into keeping silent, do we?

As someone whose livelihood can be affected by this awesome menace, Siti is in a better position to empathise with those who suffer at the hands of pirates. If she ever decides to give up singing she might consider a post as the Domestic Trade and Consumer Affairs Minister.

Why not? The previous minister, Megat Junid, did next to nothing to eradicate piracy. When a raid was carried out at a plant that manufactured counterfeit goods, he even said, "We're lucky they [the pirates] didn't sue us for loss of income." The sound you then heard was of jaws dropping at our Recording Industry Association.

Scoff not at Siti's chances. Just look at our current Agriculture Minister Effendi Nawawi. He was previously famed mainly for owning a TV station and marrying Tiara Jacquelina. If he can be deemed suited to deal with agricultural matters (and he probably is, for all I know) there's no reason why Siti Nurhaliza can't lead the good fight against these terrifying pirates. And I'm sure she'll do it with a smile.