Who is Erra Fazira, what is she? A former Miss Malaysia, she is now a singer, actress, model and our fair country's hugest box-office star. A person can't become so popular without being something of an icon and cultural signifier as well. Erra Fazira obviously represents something in this dawn of our false millennium, but what?

What are the Erra Fazira-esque values which have seeped into our national consciousness? Can one become Erra Fazira just by internalising a few Erra Fazira-ish qualities or even by using lots of the Lux soap that she advertises? Or is Erra Fazira-ness a thing unique to herself and forever unattainable by mere mortals?

I fearlessly sought the answers to these questions by catching her latest hit movie Pasrah . When I saw it, the hall was filled with awe-struck schoolgirls and so I felt right at home.

Some people say that Pasrah is a thinly-veiled account of Erra's turbulent relationship with her ex-boyfriend Awie (they were engaged for many years before breaking up; he then married another actress). Chief among the people who advance this thesis is Awie himself, who has threatened to sue the film's director Yusof Haslam.

Sure there are a few similarities: Erra plays a former Miss Malaysia who is now a Lux model whose long-standing engagement to a guy is abruptly broken off when he marries someone else. But it's all probably a big coincidence, and we shouldn't accuse Yusof of being a cynical opportunist. Besides, all this deviates from our main point of finding out, via Pasrah , what makes Erra so very Erra.

I jotted down all the things that Erra did and said in this movie in order to seek the source of her allure. Memorise them, live them, breathe them, and you too can pasrah (surrender) to the legend, the brand name, nay, the state of mind that is Erra Fazira:

1) She's so patriotic that she tells her rich boyfriend (played by Norman Hakim) that when they get married they should just honeymoon in Langkawi instead of spending their money overseas.

2) She's such a good sister that she sends her younger factory-worker sibling to work in her sports car instead of letting her take the Bas Kilang.

3) She's such a good fashion model that she even looks good in lycra tennis outfits.

4) She's so virtuous that she refuses to have a drink with a Versace-clad Datuk even after he insists he just wants to compliment her on her modelling skills.

5) She's so healthy that when she and Norman go on a romantic picnic she packs a dozen oranges and even drinks orange juice there.

6) She's so forgiving that when she catches Norman in bed with a scheming slut (Wilma Muhammad) she's ready to forgive him because she knows he doesn't really mean it. Ironically, he's the one who then breaks off with Erra.

7) She's so immaculate that when she cries her eyes out after the engagement is broken off she never once smudges her mascara. And even in the depths of solitary near-hysteria, her outfits are colour-coordinated.

8) She's so pious that she gets over her heartache not by consuming cocaine, chocolates or Campari but by reading Panduan Mengerjakan Haji dan Umrah (Guide to Performing the Haj and Umrah) and then taking her mother along to Mecca.

9) She's so forward-looking that she insists her younger sister (who has problems of her own after almost getting raped, but that's another story) get married before she herself does, although this violates a quaint Malay taboo called langkah bendul (crossing the threshold).

10) Finally and most importantly: She's so respectable that she eloquently sighs to a fellow model that: Susah hidup macam kita ni, saban hari memperagakan tubuh kita untuk tatapan umum. (It's a tough life, since we have to constantly display our bodies to people). She then gives up her RM200,000 modelling contract in order to wear the tudung . This is in startling contrast to Wilma, who continues to douse her face in glitter-dust and spend the night clubbing, smoking and drinking even after marriage to Norman. No wonder he wants to get back with Erra after seeing the latter's face splattered all over Lux billboards. But she refuses because Norman is already married. You gotta love the gal!