No entertainment please, we are Malaysians!

Where do the powers-that-be draw the line when there are publications which run tongue-in-cheek stories like, "Elvis is alive!", for example.

Or, "Royal family behind Diana's murder" - do we see Prince Charles hitting out at the ‘common pariahs’ discovered by lawyer Muhammad Shafee Abdullah? And "UFO cover-up by US government"?

None of these perpetrators' would be allowed into Guantanamo Bay. That's for sure. They need stiffer punishment like a humiliating drop in sales for being wise guys and routinely insulting the intelligence of their readers. Some of these publishers swear that their readers are "gluttons for punishment" and "suckers who will swallow anything".

From Hollywood there was a movie not so long ago, "Air Force One" in which the US president's aircraft was hijacked in mid-air by dangerous international terrorists still smarting over the collapse of the Soviet Union, imaginary grievances and perceived slights.

Did such an event ever take place? What is Washington's take on such productions which "give dangerous ideas to all and sundry"? Harrison Ford plays the US president. We are told that in other cases, hoodlums confessed their ideas came from movie scripts. The cops must have enjoyed chasing such hoodlums through narrow back alleys in a thrilling real-life re-make of the movies that would have put the Hollywood stuntmen to shame?

More recently, we have been feted by incredible stories like, "Obama is a secret Muslim" - a parallel would be a certain top Umno leader is a secret Christian because he once attended St John's Institution in Kuala Lumpur - and "Obama's birth certificate a forgery".

Did Obama ever bat an eyelid over these "exposes"? Why didn't John McCain, his opponent in the race for the White House, seize on these mind-boggling output and pounce on Obama to feed the media frenzy over the US presidential race? He probably would have liked to believe them, anyway, given his fascination with fairy stories from Iraq and learning all he can about Indians from The Simpsons cartoon series.

Closer home we have more than our fair share of the bizarre as well, but the foreign experience in handling them lacks the noble values which distinguishes the East from the decadent West, the civilized from the barbaric. The Raja Petra Kamaruddin story is a case in point. The Malaysia Today website owner can blame his unlucky stars that he was not born in Wales where the favourite hobby is planning a revolution to kick out the English for good.

Now, we are told that he is a dangerous threat to peace, security and public order. This has been variously interpreted as "insulting Islam", a catchall phrase which can excuse an indefinite period behind bars without trial. The interpretation comes from hints dropped in public recently by Home Minister Syed Hamid Albar himself. It is now known that he was thinking out aloud about how he can "get the better of RPK".

Such thinking was enough to force the man himself to keep a low profile since Sunday. He saw it coming, according to a confession on his website, which is a relief somewhat since he must have been prepared for it. If the ancient Hindu Law of Karma - cause-and-effect - needs any proof, this is it. RPK was done in by his own "guilty conscience".

ISA

According to Syed Hamid, the 58-year old father of five would be detained under Section 73(1) of the ISA, which allows for detention of up to 60 days.

"The police will do an assessment during this period - in past cases, this has included quaking like a duck on the floor and stimulating acts of sodomy - and if they feel he should be held more than 60 days, the police will then refer to me," said Syed Hamid who certainly could not have been thrilled to bits by a recent posting in Malaysia Today , "Not all Arabs are descended from Prophet Mohd".

Some of the more memorable "gems" from Malaysia Today include the recent: How Samy made RM50 million with a stroke of the pen; Swear on this Najib; the great tudung debate; Sedition and insulting Islam; Mad cow disease in Penang; and The myth of "The Myth of Moderate Islam.

No doubt RPK's incarceration under the ISA would be "a protective measure" in his case by a government concerned about him. Otherwise, he might be pummeled to death by, for starters, the "mad cow ravaged" Indian Muslims in Penang.

They may be after him as well for being considered "ugly" by RPK's "Eurasian" standards - his mother is Welsh - along with "Arabs" exposed as claiming descent from the Prophet Mohamad. "The fact that RPK has strong views on just about everything cannot be denied," says an admiring fan.

"But is the propaganda in the mainstream media any better? If people are willing to believe anything that Malaysia Today carries, blame the mainstream media and the BN government. We are not little children to be protected from the truth."

RPK can consider himself lucky if he's let out in two weeks or even two months. He can be expected to join his Hindraf friends for at least two years i.e. if they don't accidentally throw away the keys for good.

Sept 16

If Opposition Leader Anwar Ibrahim can pull off his Sept 16 Makkal Sakthi (people's power) Revolution, RPK would not only be let out the same day but he can expect the draconian ISA (Internal Security Act), under which he was detained, to be abolished immediately, all political prisoners released and a Royal Commission of Inquiry on ISA detentions. This can result in some new people counting the bars for a change.

On a brighter note, RPK can be expected to finally get somewhere when he is released provided he still has the fire in his belly. We have the example of the new President of Pakistan, Asif Ali Zardari, before us. Beaten, tortured, jailed and exiled he made a remarkable comeback.

History is full of such examples where the people generally root for the underdog and the vociferous minority. The silent majority are like sheep, willing to be lead. However, if they hammer his head with telephone directories while in detention and drive him over the edge, that's another matter. As New Straits Times columnist Rehman Rashid keeps saying in private when he's in a philosophical mood: "Shit happens."

What is happening is that the BN government takes RPK "very seriously". Are they suggesting that his flights of fancy and workings of a fertile imagination, which are re-writing the rules of journalism and blogging, can be proven, if at all? If not, why bother?

Media practitioners benignly consider RPK as "an extreme example of entertainment in the alternative media". "If anyone suggests that his work is less than entertainment, the proof must be forthcoming," pointed out a veteran hacker before he passed away recently. "There might be some truth here-and-there but what's the actual story?"

RPK had made no pretensions to be a hotshot journalist, most of whom, in the words of a retired social philosopher, "should be shot, hung, fried and fed to the pigs, along with cops, lawyers, politicians and judges".

Now RPK has been joined in detention by DAP leader Teresa Kok and Sin Chew Daily journalist Tan Hoon Cheng, 33, who had the "temerity" to report the racist remarks on Aug 23 by Bukit Bendera Umno division chief Ahmad Ismail.

Ahmad reportedly uttered the 'seditious' remarks during a BN by-election rally in Kampung Pelet in the midst of frenetic campaigning for the Permatang Pauh parliamentary seat which was won by Anwar.

The moral of the story: it's racist to report racist remarks although Ahmad Ismail himself maintains his remarks - "it's the truth" according to him -- have been distorted without explaining exactly how the newspaper has done this. He has been suspended anyway for three years - the proverbial slap on the wrist - by his party, Umno.

The irony is that the person who made "racist" remarks has gone scot-free while the person who reported them has been incarcerated without trial. "This proves that the truth is stranger than fiction," went one comment in a popular blog.

Hidden agenda

It is not known whether more will be roped into the ISA dragnet but the guessing game has begun for sins of omission and commission. In that case, the detention of RPK and others, if any, may be a red herring to buy time for the ruling coalition.

The fear is that there might a hidden agenda at work. "If 30 opposition parliamentarians are roped in under the ISA, their Sept 16 bid for power will come to a grinding halt for now," is the consensus among most political analysts and observers. "This may be a long dragged out affair, depending on the circumstances, or a quick surgical one."

Meanwhile, Anwar has a Sept 24 date with the sessions court over pending sodomy charges which can see his bail revoked and being detained while the case winds its way through the legal system and, if convicted again, put him away for a longer stretch this time.

He has spent some six years in jail on sodomy and related corruption - abuse of power - charges. The sodomy charges were later overturned upon appeal.

Currently a five-man team from the opposition is in Taiwan to touch base with 49 government backbenchers who were spirited there for a study tour. Critics say the real goal was to prevent the opposition from getting their hands on the government backbenchers in Parliament and bringing about the fall of the ruling party from power.

The stakes are high. Already, three newspapers -- Sin Chew Daily, The Sun and Suara Keadilan -- have been issued show cause letters by the Home Ministry for various reasons. The newspapers risk suspension and even closure.

Sin Chew Daily can thank Ahmad Ismail for their predicament, Suara Keadilan perhaps over a recent report that IGP Musa Hassan was in bad shape and The Sun probably for eating into the traditional turf of the Umno-owned New Straits Times which languishes below 100,000 in daily sales as against it's rival's 200,000 free circulation.

"It would have made strategic sense if the NST bought a substantial stake in The Sun and The Star through nominee companies," points out a market analyst. "If The Sun is taken out of the equation, the NST can breathe a little easier for now although the long term prognosis is bad. No. 1, The Star , has virtually sown up the English language newspaper market."

(Joe Fernandez @ Fernz is an educationist and former newspaper editor and ex-civil servant)