Like a nagging toothache, prolonged smog does strange things to you. I have thus far managed to balance my equilibrium, but the prospect of wearing one of those masks is already making quite an impact.

I've always refrained from purchasing those protective masks, dust mask or whatever you choose to call it. It has nothing to do with me wanting to be macho (my thick glasses already makes that quite impossible), but somehow it makes me feel so uncool. But last week the smog was real thick, so I resigned myself to the fact that maybe I'd have to wear one. However, I could hardly conceal my delight when my wife told me the masks have all been sold out.

The new look of the season

Most of us would look either bad or stupid (or both) wearing those masks, hence the hesitancy to wear them. This morning I saw a guy in designer clothes wearing a makeshift mask (I think it was actually his hankerchief) that matched his designer tie. He managed to look cool and elegant (perhaps more so than that whole bunch of guys vying to woo the same lady in that reality show on TV).

So, it would seem that maybe dust masks will come out in all shapes, sizes and colours in the future. The haze may come back. Maybe there will be pink dust masks. Orange dust masks. Luminous dust masks. Or maybe they will come complete with cool mottos and slogans as well. And of course, Barbie dust masks. Batman dust masks. Somebody would perhaps later come up with The Rubber Tapper Look, The Grass Cutter Look or The Neuro Surgeon Look.

Perhaps then, masks will emerge as the new fashion statement. And it won't be long when it becomes part of the global (read Glokal) haute couture. Models will be walking up and down the catwalk displaying Designer Dust Masks. Louis Vuitton already has one, and has been seen sported by the fashionistas in Tokyo. Yves Saint Laurent. What have you. However, the Malaysian government departments, of course, will order their civil servants to only wear batik masks every 15th and 31st of each month.

Song dedication

Perhaps our teenagers, instead of giving each other Hello Kitty dolls, will then exchange dust masks. And it would eventually find its way into love songs, and I might someday dedicate this song to my beloved wife Nina, which of course would be made popular by Rawi or Sawi or Jawi, the winner of Akademi Fantasia 7:-

Missing You and Your Dust Mask

Here I lie in waiting

Lonely and dusty

Wishing upon a star

Waiting for an answer

Can't live like this

Missing you, Baby

You, and your Dust Mask

Come to me, Baby

Or I'll rip open my Dust Mask

And you rip off your Dusk Mask

Together we inhale

The love pollens

And smell eternity, Baby

Ahh as I said earlier, prolonged exposure to smog does strange things to people. Different things to different people. Maybe the haze will lift even by the time you read this. Maybe it's the different outlook you get when you close your eyes. Or the freedom you feel when you open your heart. Or then again maybe I just read too much into it.

Sometimes when your eyes can't see a thing, it's time to let your other senses tell you...

ZAIM AL-AMIN is an occasional columnist. He's with a think tank, and you may email him at zaimhq@gmail.com .