The moment Ambiga Sreenevasan announced the date, I knew this time I had to do it right. I was there for Bersih 1.0 in 2008 but arrived late because the police had shut down all transportation to the city.

I wasn't going to make the same mistake twice, so I booked a room for the family in town and boarding for the dogs.

Did I think twice about going alone? No. My husband and 11-year old son knew that this was important to me and supported my decision.

Even then, Hubby was ready to take leave on the Monday in case I was imp(r)udent enough to get arrested. It appeared my stories about police brutality these years had sown the seeds of fear in them - well, better to know the truth than not.

That morning at 8am, while the drone of helicopters played in the background, I took off my wedding and engagement rings, put on my yellow T and a shirt over it then set my phone for directions to the Stadium.

Amazing physic link surfaces

I was going to walk there even with my lousy sense of direction while avoiding the many police barricades.

To do that I would disguise myself as a tourist, complete with a map of the city jutting out of my rucksack and camera in hand. In hindsight, my disguise didn't really work, because about 49,999 other people shared the same idea.

As I walked the city, there was a quiet tension in the air as all major roads had been cordoned off. As every road was chock-a-block with the police and their intimidating trucks, I went down to Petaling Street where, strangely, there were groups of people like me, waiting for the signal.

The Press was also out in force and as we waited, it was obvious what we were there for. Who in their right minds would be in Petaling Street on a Saturday morning at 9:15 - not eating or shopping? We are Malaysians after all.

bersih rally petaling street 090711 While I was standing there wishing for a Starbucks to appear among the Petaling street stalls, I spotted a familiar face. It was my varsity mate I had not seen in 22 years. Ong. Now a full-time staff of PKR, he was daring enough to sport yellow.

Oh Boy! I just hoped that we could make it to the designated place on time instead of an early, anti-climactic arrest.

Rather brazenly (or recklessly) we left the safe confines of Petaling Street. The plan was to walk the gauntlet, past the police in front of Kota Raya for breakfast at McD's. Sheer madness!

So there we were, marching past a few dozen policemen to the fast food outlet that happened to be heaving with customers at 9am.

Rather smugly, Ong ‘s friend remarked "there are a lot of us here!" I asked him how he knew. He answered it was unmistakable. The standard t-shirt, trouser/jean and trainers with the occasional backpack was the uniform of the day.

Collective consciousness needs no words

Anyhow, which young person would in the middle of an empty city be dressed like that when they could be in Pavilion or sleeping at home. Quite true. Now recognising each other, we gave the other supporters a secret head nod. Yes, we knew why we were here.

NONE After breakfast, the company parted. I was off to Petaling Street where I saw the now famous Lady of Liberty, Auntie Annie. She looked like she had been ready for action since dawn.

At 11 or so, I rejoined Ong's group and we were heartened to see a group of lawyers making ready to start off to the Stadium at Jalan Sultan.

It just made sense that we were safest with the people who knew the law so we started walking. At the Stadium, it was all barbed wire and barricades.

The police were intractable and were adamant about not letting us in. As we waited, we heard chanting at a distance in Petaling Street. The game was afoot.

Rushing back to Petaling Street, we joined a column of people and soon I lost Ong and his friends. However, at this moment, I didn't feel alone as I joined my Malaysian brothers and sisters in cheering "Hidup Rakyat", "Bangkit Rakyat" and "Bersih Pilihanraya".

At the best of times, I have no idea of the streets and alleys of KL, so it was with some surprise that I found myself in front of Menara Maybank.

What was even more astonishing was the sea of people around me and it was at this point that I knew that Malaysia was not lost.

Despite the many hard knocks she has suffered, her citizens had come out in force, despite danger and the numerous obstacles, because they cared enough to want better.

The rakyat have risen to give voice to an ailing democracy and to restore their country to her former glory. I was heartened too to note that there were so many Malaysians of all races and a large number of women. Truly, at that moment I realized that these were not just people - Malays, Indians, Chinese, Sabahans dan lain lain ...they were my people .

In wake of superman trick

Then another astounding event happened. A lot of people started pulling off or putting on t-shirts to reveal the now (in)famous yellow Bersih Ts. It reminded me that for today, we were all superheroes to have got past the stringent checks, police cordons and roadblocks. Sheer ingenuity!

After a few delirious minutes of camaraderie, there was a bell, a loud noise and then mayhem was unleashed.

The surge away from the centre of Jalan Tun Perak was terrifying. In the midst of the crush of bodies, I was swept in the tide of human terror as we all tried to escape the first of many tear gas attacks.

Helpless and unable to slow the wave of bodies all around me, my first fear was that I would lose my foothold and fall.

NONE I saw then that I was helpless and in danger in this near stampede but in the melee, we heard shouts all round us, "Sabar, kawan!" In a few seconds, I felt the crush ease up and then we found ourselves in Jalan Pudu.

At Jalan Pudu, a kind Malay gentleman took one look at me and knew I was a newbie, so he very kindly smeared toothpaste under my eyes for relief from the gas and taught me how to use salt to counter the nausea.

Togetherness' pain in adverse conditions

He was marshaling everyone and offering first aid to those most affected as more staggered past and held the railings to retch and catch their breaths.

After this onslaught, we regrouped and marched again towards Bukit Bintang but then we made a U-turn.

I later found out that the riot police had blockaded the other end of Jalan Pudu. So turn back we did and found ourselves looking at the end of the barrel again.

Thinking that we could appeal to the good side of the police, we marched onward and staged a sit in. With a tremor of fear, I found myself near the front row and sat on the tarmac.

My admiration goes out to the marshals who were in the front row facing riot police 4-rows or more deep and the water cannon trucks. They had to bear the brunt of what was to come.

While we sat, we waited. A commotion broke out two rows down. An ‘infiltrator' had come among us and had unfurled a red T-shirt with the word "Patriot".

Instantly, there was shouting and cheering as some tried to set fire to the offending item.

As for the unfortunate young man who had dared do such a thing, some cried for blood but amidst shouts of "jangan cederakan dia. Kita buat bersih", good sense prevailed. He was told he did not belong among us and was pushed none too gently to the fringes.

After that bit of excitement, came the harshest of the tear gas attacks. Again the bell and the loud boom of baton rattling against shield.

  Gas attack, mayhem, pain 

Why the police would fire on their citizens staging a sit down, I still don't know. Again we all ran. This time most of us were blinded and no one knew where they were heading to.

I felt bodies bump into me and I knew I had to hold on to railings, a post or a tree because I could not see ahead as my eyes watered and burned.

Sightless and choked, women and men stumbled and clutched anything upright. Again, I could feel the rising terror in the helplessness my situation.

Hugging trees and lamp posts, I drunkenly made my way down the street. I had given someone my bottle of water because he needed NONE it more and now rubbed my skin where it burned.

Upon seeing my discomfort, another young gentleman, the worse for wear himself, helped by giving me some of his water to wash my face and arms, enquiring if I needed salt. I thanked him and together we walked down Pudu towards Tung Shin.

Then it rained. Everyone looked skyward in relief and a voice called out "Alhamdulillah!".

By now everyone has read of events in Tung Shin. I remember we were directed there because the marshals thought it was a hospital and it would be safe. How wrong they were.

Escaping from Tung Shin, having braved the worst volley of tear gas and water cannons, we were still not daunted. We cheered as we marched the Changkat area, then onto KLCC.

It says a lot about Malaysians that though we were so many, there was hardly any litter and no destruction of property.

In fact at a Caltex shop across from the Concorde, all of us queued patiently to pay for water and food. This was a Bersih rally so the reminder was that "kita buat betul betul semua".

Emptiness behind broad smile

Walking in this part of tourist KL after the storm of Pudu and Tung Shin, we saw the many posters of our PM smiling benevolently at us from banners strung near major roads and intersections.

universiti malaya billboards thec ranking 051105 najib Some who had regained their humour remarked that today, Satan must be particularly happy. Others who were not as good tempered were more colourful in their language.

At KLCC, we staged another sit-in and listened to speeches by Hatta Ramli and Chua Jui Meng. I thought it would have been better had there been a Bersih Representative, but their absence was understandable seeing as many of them had been arrested. It was 1615 (4.15pm) and the rally was announced as officially over. We could go home.

As the sea of Malaysians dispersed peacefully, the police decided to spring into action.

Caught between the shuttered doors of the shopping mall and charging police officers, some of us were arrested near KLCC in an ambush.

Others like me, rubbed off the tell tale toothpaste under the eyes, donned our guises and tried to disappear into the crowd at Ampang Park as vigilant officers combed the area for stragglers.

After an hour, even they must have decided that the party was over. It was a lot of excitement for one day for both sides.

Upon reflection, Bersih was at once terrifying, uplifting, liberating and humbling. In a common cause and in the face of adversity, Bersih united us as no sloganeering could.

Verily, it is an experience which changes you and stays with you for life. For me, I know now that I am not alone in this country and that somehow, I can count on my Malaysian brothers and sisters in the worst of times.

 

 

This series relates eyewitness accounts of the Bersih July 9 rally in Kuala Lumpur for clean and fair elections. If you were there and have an interesting story to share, email us at editor@malaysiakini.com .