The near constant cry has been listening to the people, get closer to them as part of efforts to win back hearts and minds after the March 8 2008 shock.

The other refrain had been rebrand, reinvent.

One among them decides to swim against the current of cliche.

That person thinks the time has come to walk among the people minus all the ego-massaging cocoon of police outriders, personal aides and bodyguards.

This demands girding of the loins. As well as swallowing the much cherished maruah . He decides to do all that.

campus elections polling day 290905 stamped First Angkasapuri make-up artists' skills are called upon so once their tender attention is over the public persona is no more.

Oh, yes, before really plunging into the deep end, mustn't forget nose plugs. Will enlighten you on the why in awhile.

All alone he ventures to the nearest bus stop or LRT or commuter train station. Paranoia touches him stoked by all the news stories he had read about snatch thieves, pick-pockets and other sundry nasty things like that.

He does feel naked now.

However, he manages to calm his nerves and decides to treat his first ride alone in public transport in ages as a re- acquainting trip.

The Pudu Raya bus terminal- a centre bustling with chaotic life is his first destination for obvious reasons.

Once there he sits on one of the concrete benches thoughtfully provided by the authorities for the passengers' comfort. Naturally that comfort level is far from that provided by leather-backed chairs.

But, what the hell, what's a little discomfort when he's there to share in the people's experience.

The idea is to absorb a small slice of the rakyat's daily grind.

He observes the jostling to board buses; the eddies of people going about their business breathing in the fumes vomited by throbbing buses.

Plot thickens, stomach churns

The noise, the heat, the chaos must be a dramatic difference from the civilized surroundings of the air-conditioned and luxuriously appointed offices he's so accustomed to.

But shattered nerves and coughing fits notwithstanding, he doesn't give up, decides to soldier on.

Then suddenly there comes the pressing need to seek relief from a full bladder. The public toilet is conveniently situated nearby.

Everything written about public toilets come stunningly alive as the pong hits him smack in the face. Mercifully the nose plugs cut down on the stench.

What a horror. Thankfully the stomach behaves itself. Not heave and, bring disgrace upon him.

Staggering out, even when tempted, he doesn't reach for his cell phone.

He keeps repeating to himself the mantra that he's doing it for the good of the country which helps bolster the spirit of patriotism within him.

That adds a spring to his steps as he strides to the nearest bus and gets pushed and squeezed into it.

After painfully slowly negotiating out of the terminal and through the congested traffic, the bus aims for the federal highway.

puduraya bus station 260908 01 As the bus trundles on, the mental gears grind on how to profit from the experience.

The mind wanders into an old story wherein the major organs of the body are hotly debating which among is the is most vital to the existence of their host.

Out of nowhere from way down the nether end a shrill voice cuts in with:"What about me? I'm important too."

A momentary pause. Then laughter explodes. "You're nothing. Just a waste disposal artist."

The retort comes back double quick: "You wait, I'll show you."

As the days pass the major organs start feeling ill, and feebly send out weak messages to each other trying to find out the why and the wherefore of the situation.

From the nether region the response is: "The sphincter muscles have tightened. The waste disposal artist is on strike."

The other organs frantically announce their capitulation.

Immediately a huge trumpet blast of victory is let loose. Closely followed by it a signature perfume.

Toilet training

The moral of this story is obvious. That's why it's so weird, our man thinks, that from the highest to lowest of the low all need visit the toilet - so why is the function considered with such embarrassment?

And toilet cleaners who provide such a vital service in helping to prevent all manner of diseases held in disdain?

Changing that ingrained attitude appears as near impossible as conquering Mount Everest in a blizzard.

Then out the blue, to borrow an expression, an idea strikes our man. An outrageous idea. But an idea with great potential.

kampung baru weekend market 260508 public toilet Which could, possibly, lead to other changes. Like instilling civic consciousness in a littering prone citizenry, among other social indifference.

The deal the mind put together would meet with a lot of resistance initially but in the end the overriding need for political survival should win the day.

And so fact gathering trips, on days he can manage to steal away from his busy schedule, becomes part of his routine.

Finally satisfied, he approaches his immediate boss. Spends couple hours with him in intense discussions before winning him over.

After that it's not exactly smooth sailing but still and all the party is confident enough to bring in the coalition partners for the final decision to launch the programme.

The next step is leaking information to the mass media to tease the public.

Once the public relations build-up is over, on a bright Sunday morning, there descend on Pudu Raya police cars with sirens wailing, and police outriders escorting vans with heavily tinted windscreens and, other vans full police or TV crews.

Slack-jawed and eyes a'popping, the public looks on as high flying politicians descend from the tinted-windscreen vans uniformly dressed in stylish overalls, feet encased in shiny wellington boots and armed with buckets and mops.

They've come to herald in a new era of "Pemimpin mesra dengan rakyat" with a 21century twist.

That's right. All ready to get dirty; to attack that notorious bus terminal's toilets.The objective - to bestow dignity on toilet cleaning and instil pride in the workers.

Lights, camera, inaction

And what better way than the leaders themselves set the example. The epoch making event is telecast life by all TV stations. Job over, TV cameras scan through the toilets. Lo!And behold! The floors are clean enough to eat off.

Waiting passengers and curious on-lookers burst into applause.

The event sets off an unexpected chain reaction. Not only does it grabs headlines across the globe with TV stations really going ga ga with their coverage and talk shows devoting a major portion of their time, but also within weeks enterprising souls cash in with T-shirts and other handicrafts embossed with motives of bucket and mop.

They become runaway best sellers nationwide as well over the Internet.

Local newspapers are flooded with letters which include foreigners relating their unforgettable public toilet experience while touring the country. And are full praise for the government for the daring initiative and, the foreigners are eager for a return trip for a more pleasant back-packing holiday.

Within the nation, the affair sparks off a fierce debate between proponents and opponents.

However, a majority of the public tilt heavily in favour of the government.

Not to be left behind, all the states, including those held by the Opposition scramble to jump onto the band wagon.

And hallelujah brudder, no more complaints about filthy public toilets anywhere including coffee-shops and bus and some train stations.

burmese protest suu kyi bday 160605 roof photographer All are spick and span with a regular supply of toilet rolls and gangs of highly-paid cleaners always in attendance.

In the meantime, NGOs seize the opportunity to mobilize public support for other cleaning up projects like rivers and the environment generally.

First they target local governments widely known for their own sense of self-importance with little regard for the public good.

Since the ground had been made fertile by the Pudu Raya episode, the NGOs find their mission made that much easier.

For the idea of the rakyat being able to bring about changes has caught fire and there's no stopping it.

Public pressure builds up to boiling point. So much so politicians realise the threat to their careers unless bureaucrats are brought to heel.

And so, the politicians smartly, transfer the pressure unto them.

Finally, the day dawns when the nation wakes up to the fact that there's no other option to local government elections to not only cut down on waste, but also to breed politicians who the serve the rakyat not themselves or their political bosses.

SOMEBODEEE! PIIINCH MEEE!