Be shocked and awed - that is your mandated response when confronted with the colossi that is Putrajaya (1). Translated literally, the name could be taken to mean 'success' (jaya) of the Malay princes (putera) (2) or the bumiputera.

Putrajaya is the Malaysian administrative capital raised from formerly oil palm estate land quicker than you can say 'Petronas'. With dinars liberally poured into it by the chiefest bankroller of mega-projects, Putrajaya arose like a shimmery mirage landscape from a crony's err genie's bottle.

As with a piece of magic from the Arabian Nights, Putrajaya has materialised to stand in splendid isolation, 25km from Kuala Lumpur in the north and 20km from the white elephant (3) at Sepang in the south. It is true though that nowadays all the new highways lead to Putrajaya. The road signs to the place are aplenty but the same can't be said about signs to lead motorists out, which are lacking. This is typical of Malaysian big business (like Proton) where there is poor 'after-sales service'.

If you go to the official website , it says that Putrajaya - a Mahathir brainchild claimed by the former prime minister and now Petronas advisor to 'characterise the spirit' of our country 'in the fullest sense' for the 21st century and 'symbolise the nation's aspirations' (quoted in The Star ) - is spread over exactly 4,931 hectares of land divided into precincts.

Anybody home?

Over this vast, most imposing conurbation in the entire Cronesia, (as they say) 'the lights may be on, Bud, but there ain't nobody home'. Putrajaya houses only the merest fraction of residents relative to its colossal size. Admittedly, it draws tourists by the busloads, but of the 53,000 population (4), there are not many to be seen barring the foreign construction workers.

Doubtless, the government buildings are spanking new and humongous, so logically you would expect the top civil servants to be provided 'quarters' nearby. The swathes of large, ostentatious residences certainly befit the nouveau riche. But take a drive around at night and you will hardly see anyone a-stir; only a smattering of mostly Protons and Peroduas will be on the road - in keeping with the 'authentic Malaysian' driving force behind the conception of this city wannabe. In fact, the swankier houses appear unoccupied.

Putrajaya is no vibrant KL, as likewise administrative capitals Canberra and Brasilia pale in comparison to their spiffy sisters Sydney, Melbourne, Rio de Janeiro and Sao Paulo.

Maybe Putrajaya was not constructed to be an epicentre pulsing with activity. Cloaked in a selendang (shawl) of sparkling fairy lights, she is perhaps only meant to stand in tribute, like an extravagant Mak Datin, to her architect the Tun Doktor. In fact, when I was there a few nights ago, a plethora of neon signs were blinking the country's profuse thanks - and then some, in pantun (verse) form - to Putrajaya's master builder for his 22 years of sterling service.

Pharoah's palaces

When a few years ago I first saw photographs of Putrajaya, then (and projected up till 2010) under construction, the thought crossed my mind: Surely Putrajaya's opulence must rival that of ancient Babylonia in its heyday. Some PAS leaders have described Putrajaya's more grandiose buildings as akin to the Mahafiraun's (Supreme Pharoah) mahligai (palaces). Oh by the way, Perdana Putra, the Prime Minister's office complex, is that magnificent building capped by the green dome overlooking Putrajaya Lake.

The opposition party's criticisms are not far off the mark. Putrajaya has already sucked billions of ringgit, and still counting, into a black hole, not including the annual maintenance cost for this slice of the federal territory. Just take any two numbers, then add 000,000,000 (yes, nine zeroes) to approximate the figure we're looking at. A Malaysia Boleh accountant may be able to give us a more precise estimate.

To the Mahathir administration and its successor, the money is probably considered well spent in view of its returns. On the last National Day a few months back - described as the biggest, greatest ever by Mahathir - the entire country would have seen images of Putrajaya, either splashed on the front pages of mainstream newspapers or over TV.

Putrajaya's Palace of Justice provided the suitably impressive backdrop to the masses of humanity - bussed there for the parade - marching past the VIP grandstand. The spectacle was immensely stirring, reminiscent of the stupendous rallies in history that were a show of power, pomp and pageantry.

If some corners of the globe still possess only a mental map of this country as 'that peninsula sandwiched between Singapore and Thailand', they must now sit up and take notice. In addition to the world's second tallest building, the Petronas Twin Towers, and Asia's second F1 track (also Petronas-funded), there is a new Petronas tourist attraction - Putrajaya. The oil really does spilleth over

Sense of the surreal

Read some of the tourist information brochures and you will find references to this and that structure in Putrajaya being inspired by this and that Persian (Iranian), Baghdadi (Iraqi), Moroccan or even Turkestanean landmark. 'For unlike Kuala Lumpur whose buildings reflect our colonial past, Putrajaya's unique architecture incorporating Islamic and local motifs is wholly Malaysian, without colonial traces' ( The Star , Feb 1, 2002) (5). Never mind that the 4.2km Putrajaya Boulevard, the 'axis' linking five core precincts, is said to be modelled after the Champ Elysees.

The stately Palace of Justice mentioned earlier is awe-inspiring but its grandeur is nonetheless topped by Putrajaya's Ministry of Finance ( photo, left ) which is out of this world! The MoF's futuristic semi-circular complex 12-storeys high can easily fit the bill for an inter-galactic headquarters of some United Planets federation. Studio moguls need not build an alien set from scratch for its sci-fi movies; they can just come here and film on location.

You know you have stepped into the surreal when the larger-than-life letters P-U-T-R-A-J-A-Y-A (like 'Hollywood' on the hill) greet visitors.

And still on the topic of surreal superlatives, where else in a tropical climate do people dig a mammoth hole - all of 600 hectares - only to fill it with water and then build bridges over the artificial lake thus created? This feat is another one for the record books as according to Putrajaya Corporation president Azizan Zainul Abidin (quoted in the New Straits Times ), Putrajaya's is the largest man-made lake in the world.

Bridges, bridges everywhere

In the Putrajaya Holdings website , it says: 'The lake water quality is expected to achieve Class IIB water quality criteria'. Does that mean water from the lake will be clearer than the murky Teh-O supply that flows from our household taps courtesy of Puas (Selangor Water Department)?

Furthermore, there are bridges, bridges everywhere over the water. The Putrajaya official website lists eight of them, among which are the Seri Bakti bridge that spans the 'protocol route' (Putrajaya, after all, is expected to play host to dignitaries the world over) and the canggih (sophisticated) cable-stayed Seri Wawasan bridge ( photo, right ) bathed in spotlight. Note the use of the word 'Seri' (lustre) in prefixing names to impart a shine to things Putrajaya imaginative indeed.

Amidst the super structures redolent of ringgit, perhaps the only saving grace is the Putra 'floating' Mosque. As costly as the rest of her statuesque cousins, this mosque at least looks pretty in pink when her petalled dome and five-tiered,116m tall minaret are illuminated at night.

The mosque is reportedly able to accommodate 15,000 worshippers and hopefully has readied adequate parking space; although I see that people simply park outside, around the concourse. However, non-Muslim visitors should note that if they are attired in an un-Islamic manner, they will be required to don the pink jubah (robe) and headscarf provided by the mosque authorities.

As yet, there are no churches, temples or gurdwaras in Putrajaya.

Bright lights, city sights

International tourist destinations like Hong Kong don't hold a candle to Putrajaya which is a veritable Moth Sentral. Her street lights are legion and each road sports different designer lamps.

In the run-down area of old town where I live, the roads in my neighbourhood are so sparsely-lit that a pedestrian would be well advised to wear a flourescent vest when out walking at night. What a contrast to the Putrajaya Boulevard that is lit up every two paces by arty street lamps. It makes one wonder about the country's electricity consumption which has reportedly gone up by 18 percent over the recent years.

The view anywhere in Putrajaya, and we are not talking about Nature's original recipe, takes your breath away. There are just so many parks (no dogs allowed), plazas and promenades awash with sculptures, fountains and gazebos. There is even a millennium monument in the shape of a rocket aiming for the sky, I kid you not.

And if you want to sit in luxury's lap, Putrajaya is the place to go. Apart from the Putrajaya Shangri-La and Marriott hotels, there are 5-star shopping centres in the pipeline - alas, all priced beyond my meagre wages. However, the hoi polloi are welcome to gawk at the official residence of our present and future Malaysian prime ministers, the posh Seri Perdana at, I believe, no charge.

In conclusion, I can only reiterate that the opulence of Putrajaya has to be seen to be believed. Her every bling-bling (accoutrement) reeks of money and reflects the prestige she hopes to buy in the eyes of the world.

I strongly recommend that every Malaysian pay at least two visits (go at night too) to this symbol of a profligate era and see what the mighty state has wrought. The experience could well reinforce our pride in being Malaysian, and as the politicians we so deserve are wont to exhort, to feel 'grateful' and 'thankful' that we live in this blessed land.

Notes

1) Malaysian enterprises are fond of appending 'Jaya' to their endeavours. Gohtong Jaya, the township named after Genting Highlands casino mogul Lim Goh Tong, is one such example.

2) Officially, Putrajaya is named after Malaya's founding father Tunku Abdul Rahman Putra Al-Haj although what the country's modest late prime minister would have thought about this monstrosity that ostensibly bears his name will never be known.

3) Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA).

4) Residential population: 18,730: working population: 34,000 (2003 figures).

5) In a DAP media statement in July, 1999, the party's Perak chairman Ngeh Koo Ham was said to have taken Mahathir to task over his comment that he did not consider Kuala Lumpur to be built by Malaysians because its founder was a Chinese, Yap Ah Loy.

Z SUNDAY is a Joe Public who reads local mainstream print media for their unfunny and unintentional imitation of black and gallows humour. The truth may be out there but he doesn't expect to extract it from the Malaysia Boleh chaff in local newspapers.