As hard as I’ve tried over the years, I‘ve found it impossible to definitively describe the system of government, or more accurately misgovernment, that the BN regime has insidiously, illegally and indeed criminally imposed on Malaysia. But whatever it is, it sure as hell is nothing like genuine democracy.

In fact it is so far from true government of the people, for the people, by the people that I wonder why BN bothers to keep pretending it’s anything remotely resembling the real thing.

Yet it does keep pretending, and persistently so. So much so, in fact, that the prime architect of this faux-democratic if not outright fascist state of affairs is himself still at pains after decades of deception to try and preserve the democratic illusion.

No sooner had he recovered from his recent chest infection, he demonstrated that he’s still incurably afflicted with his notorious jest infection - a pathological penchant for telling lies dressed-up as sneering, sarcastic ‘jokes’.

The jolly jape on this occasion being that “Malaysia’s democracy is not perfect, but an imperfect democracy is better than (the rakyat) taking to the streets and killing one another.”

NONE Of course as Mahathir Mohamad ( right ), or in view of how amusing he imagines himself to be, Mahahahahathir, is as acutely aware as you and I that no democracy is or can possibly be perfect.

He might even, however much else he is capable of strategically claiming he has forgotten in his old age, recall Winston Churchill’s famous 1947 remark to the British parliament that “no one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.”

As imperfect as even honest and true democracy may be, however, there is no evidence wherever it is practiced to support Mahahahahathir’s ludicrous suggestion that democratic rights, freedoms and rule of law result in popular mass mayhem and murder.

Quite the opposite, in fact. It is dictatorships and doctatorships like Mahahahahathir worked so long and hard to establish and perpetuate that have a way of eventually descending into people-power revolutions, armed coups and Syria-style civil wars.

Genuine democracies, as seriously challenged as many inevitably are at times by political, racial and sectarian divisions between their citizens, make strenuous and almost always eventually successful efforts to solve or at least soothe such problems.

Striving to promote paranoia

BN, on the other hand, strives to keep its demockracy, demuckracy, damnocracy or whatever it is in power by piously pretending to foster unity and harmony, as in its fake “1Malaysia” concept, while in practice striving strenuously to promote paranoia.

By constantly evoking memories of the bloody May 13, 1969 riots, for example, and attributing them to Malay outrage provoked by non-Malays, when as everybody knows it was a plot by Abdul Razak Hussein, father of current Prime Minister Najib Abdul Razak, to wrest power from Tunku Abdul Rahman.

Then there is the continual demonisation of the non-Malays, especially Chinese Malaysians, for their alleged intention to dominate Malaysia intellectually and economically, and to scapegoat them in every possible way, as in Najib’s bitterly blaming BN’s poor performance in the May 2013 general election on what he called “the Chinese tsunami”.

Since then he has heaped praise and support on his party’s racist ‘newspaper’, Utusan Malaysia , even to the extent of re-naming a street after this gutter rag, thus publicly giving his seal of approval.

Just days ago, however, he made a typically two-faced move to restore his allegedly democratic credentials by claiming that henceforth he intends to be prime minister “for all Malaysians.”

In the same breath he also claimed that he intends to reduce if not entirely eliminate “money politics”, the Umno euphemism for massive political corruption, by the next general election.

This will prove to be yet another of Najib’s endless list of false promises, of course, like his stated intentions some years ago to make Malaysia “the world’s best democracy” with “media to be proud of”, and to institute “zero tolerance of corruption”.

Since then, as even the comical Tun Dr Mahahahahathir recently acknowledged, corruption has grown more rampant than ever, the mainstream media more biased as ever in favour of the regime, and the very idea of democracy under BN has been rendered ridiculous by an electoral system riddled with gerrymandering and vote-buying.

And now that this year’s Umno general assembly has opened its asinine proceedings, even the thin pretence of democracy, imperfect or otherwise, has totally gone by the board.

NONE As Malaysiakini reported, this exercise in political supremacy kicked off “with deputy president Muhyiddin Yassin’s ( left ) providing the usual dose of racial and religious rhetoric, peppered with warnings about new external threats .”

The threats Muhyiddin specifically mentioned were “deviationist Islamic teachings” and “Western liberal democracy.” While these make a refreshing change from Mahahahahathir’s perennial bugbears, Israel, the “international Jewish conspiracy” and the West in general, they do nothing to substantiate BN’s claims that its version, or perversion of Malaysia is a democracy, imperfect or otherwise.

Wondering why support for BN has waned

Taking aim at a claim by a US-based think tank that Malaysia is only “partly free” politically, he embarked on a lengthy rant interspersed with rhetorical questions like “are we willing to let foreigners force us into accepting the concept of freedom that is against our religion?” before wondering why support for BN appears to have waned.

“Umno must understand the message sent by voters. We need to honestly and sincerely find out the reasons why urban voters and youths are not with us at the level we want,” he thundered.

Muhyiddin need not “honestly and sincerely” look further than himself, of course, as in his roles as deputy prime minister and education minister he’s seen by the Malaysian people as even more incompetent and repellent, if possible, than his boss Najib.

And for further reason for BN’s being increasingly on the nose with voters, he should also give a thought to Najib’s shopaholic consort, Rosmah Mansour, as well as that other female symbol of all that’s corrupt, self-serving, and profoundly undemocratic about the BN regime, Wanita Umno head Shahrizat Abdul Jalil.

NONE Already a heavy liability due to her role in the National Feedlot Corporation (NFC) scandal, Shahrizat ( right ) has had the hide to urge the party and government to give more government roles and projects to her and her fellow regime women, and to threaten retribution if she doesn’t get her way.

Little realising, apparently, that if Malaysia was a democracy, and not some trumped-up demockracy, demuckracy, damnocracy or, considering the NFC scandal, demoocracy, she and most of her brothers and sisters in BN would be flung out of their jobs and into jail.

DEAN JOHNS, after many years in Asia, currently lives with his Malaysian-born wife and daughter in Sydney, where he coaches and mentors writers and authors and practises as a writing therapist. Published books of his columns for Malaysiakini include ‘Mad about Malaysia', ‘Even Madder about Malaysia', ‘Missing Malaysia', ‘1Malaysia.con’ and ‘Malaysia Mania’.