I was at the parking lot one day

near a Malaysian teh tarik stall near the lagoon Sunway

I saw a giggly kind of incident

a young Malay lady in tudung was trying to jump

on a Chinese Uncle without a tudung...

and it was a funny scene

that became quiet obscene

and worse there were many people at the scene

wondering if it was the shooting of a movie scene

The lady had her Peugeot

when I was a little kid, when I could not say the right word

I call the car a PIJOT

an insect that is a sister-in-law to the bed bug PIJAT daily we fought

Yes, PEUGOET was the tudung-ed lady’s car

and PIJOT was her pet insect she kept in her booth

The young lady was mad I did not know why

maybe she wanted to become a gangster and become totally wild

but she got bitten by a pijot and almost died that day

and she ended up driving her PEUGEOT all day

till the battery died like a lover betrayed

I am still trying to figure out what happened

she was like a mad woman all of a sudden

a lady Suarez

demon possess’d

I should not have been a busybody

and stayed drunk with my teh tarik and kepala ikan curry

and read my magazine The National Lampoon

I bought in Chow Kit with the price of a Dutch klompen

I should have waited to find out

by playing a playback video

(like they do in the brazilian world cup)

of what the lady said to the poor elegant apek

who was patient enough to receive the verbal blows

coming from the lady who was shouting

and yelling and break-dancing like a pro'

What was funny was she had a steering lock

she waved to the poor old man who was at first in shock

and the shock turned to tai chi and

tai chi turned into being scared

of the angry tudong-ed malay minachi

Still I did not know what happened

In fact nobody knew what actually happened

But things happen

and I will not let my spirit be dampened

I now vow - by the sound of a Peugoet

and by Pijat or by Pil Chi Kit Teck Aun

I will find out what happened

So- folks before I go on a journey to find our what happened

Do you all know what happened?

But one thing for sure

I will not buy a Peugeot

if the demons in it will make me turn into

a pijat one day

and a pijot another day

and bite my steering-lock in anger

while the poor tai chi master of an old man

was chanting mantras

like a good man with a good chi

as patient as the Malaysian chocolate Cadbury

But be warned my friends

Be warned

Be warned

it is never about race or religion

those reasons are lame and ancient

it is simply about a lady who loved her Peugeot

who snacks on steering-locks daily

and could not control her anger

and the demons in her Peugeot

summoned a force inside her - greener that a PAS logo

and that moment ignited that deadly spark

and turned her into an Incredible Hulk

- azly rahman

Commentary

But seriously fellow Malaysians, about the Peugeot incident:

You have unnecessarily become vigilantes, taking the law into your owns hands. Or maybe the law enforcers are slow to come to the scene

If an accident happens, a bumper gets hit by another car or a “fender bender” as the Americans would call it, just call the police, file a report and get your insurance company to deal with the claims. Take photos of the damage, dent, etc. no need to threaten anyone or to shout terroristic threats or worse to damage the other person’s car with a heavy object (doing this to a person is tantamount to attempted assault I suppose).

Stay calm and wait for the police to arrive. Make phone calls to your insurance company to notify. it is all a learning process. But one must know the law such as what to do in an accident.

I have been reading about snatch thieves being beaten to a pulp till near-death. this is wrong. Of course citizen action is good but there is also due process. again, catch the thief, but wait for the police to take him/her and the courts to charge him.

In all these lie the importance of basic education of one’s rights, knowing basic law, and working together with the police and learning together to uphold the law. The system is already there, the law is as good as how it is enforced and enforced well without fear and favour and to the best of professional standards.

The framework of effective context of good implementation is a society in which systems are localized and as such the need to do the most important thing in governance: the strengthening of local government.

This is still a challenge. How long it takes for the police, ambulance, fire engine, back up patrol car to arrive at a scene of an accident is contingent upon the speed by which distress calls are responded to, support of the infrastructure to allow the standard operating procedure to take over, and the ability of the ‘players and actors’ to play the game of law and order.

The more we do this, the safer our society will become - whether the scene of the play is on the streets, by the roadside, in schools, in the village, or even by the shores of Sabah near some resort.

Systems well maintained will avoid SNAFUs. And unless we are in Northern Nigeria; Medellin, Colombia; or in Falluja or Taliban-land; we don’t need vigilantes running our neighbourhood.

So - where do we begin? Ironically we have already been ‘independent’ for more than 50 years. Where is our education for basic rights and understanding the law that ought to be taught in Citizenship Studies?

Stay safe.

DR AZLY RAHMAN, born in Singapore and grew up in Johor Baru, holds a Columbia University (New York City) doctorate in International Education Development and Masters degrees in four areas: Education, International Affairs, Peace Studies and Communication. He has taught more than 40 courses in six different departments and has written more than 350 analyses on Malaysia. His teaching experience in Malaysia and the United States spans over a wide range of subjects, from elementary to graduate education. He has edited and authored four books; Multiethnic Malaysia: Past, Present, Future (2009), Thesis on Cyberjaya: Hegemony and Utopianism in a Southeast Asian State (2012), The Allah Controversy and Other Essays on Malaysian Hypermodernity (2013), and the latest Dark Spring: Ideological Roots of Malaysia's GE-13 (2013). He currently resides in the United States. Twitter , blog .