It was called Brexit in Britain.

Will it be called ‘Johor Belah’ in Malaysia?

I thought of this when I woke up and when I was showering. I thought of the nagging interest of the ‘Bangsa Johor’ in wishing to sooner or later calling for a referendum to leave Malaysia or to ‘belah’ from the federation.

‘Belah’ is a Johorean slang of the kutu kutu brahak Johor of the seventies denoting ‘to leave’ or to ‘exit’. If I don’t like someone, I’d say “Lu boleh belah lah!” or if I want to leave the scene I’d yell “Hoi, gua nak belah lah... Mem gua dah sound tu!” (Yo! I am leaving... My mother’s calling!).

Interesting, of late, since the last five years perhaps, since the Johor football/soccer team has been winning those games, and Johor fans have been super excited, the talk of the state has been to ‘belah’ or to leave, The reason is that the Bangsa Johor (again whatever that means) is on an uprising mood, against what it called a federal government ruled by those who abuse power, incompetent, and corrupt.

The mood to belah is heightened by more winnings of the football and the closer the Johor ruling elite is getting to her divorced spouse of 1965 - Singapore.

But what legitimate reason will the Johor Belah movement have, except to belah because some Johoreans think that perhaps one day it would be a good idea to have a union of Johor and Singapore - a Singa-Jore Union, somewhat. More Singaporeans can own Johor and live there and more ‘Minah Karan’ (female workers) from Johor can sell their labour in those electronic factories.

Singapore needs land to plant vegetables, and vertical farming seems like a good idea for the city-state but it is not a glamorous concept as traditional farming. Singaporeans need not just more land but more investments and more and more cheap properties...

“Chip chip chip” (those birdsounds made by excited shoppers) I used to hear of the grabbing of goods by Singaporeans back in the day of lychees and kain ela and bootleg perfume in Woodlands (or Ooddle-land... as Johoreans of the old school would call the Singapore Padang Besar and Golok economy-Olympic Bronze-class shopping joint).

So - that was what ‘Johor Belah’ could be about, as inspired by Brexit. But with all due respect to the high cognitive abilities of the leaders of Johor, do they even understand the concept of referendum and plebiscite? Will there be an issue at all for Johoreans to leave or to belah and to insist in calling themselves Bangsa Johor, have its own army, and open up the state to as many investors from China and Singapore?

Border issue?

Is there a border issue to inspire Johor Belah? Are there 3.3 million migrant workers coming into Johor, say from neighbours, to threaten the country - to destroy the cultural, economic, and political fabric of the Kerajaan Bangsa Johor? Are the Johoreans feeling discriminated, oppressed, and deeply depressed as a ‘bangsa’ necessitating a secession movement?

I don’t know. It is hard to find a reason to belah, for the Johoreans. Except maybe for no reason at all other than to relive the vainglory of once a pre-modern state once closely aligned to British Imperialism? But again, as we approach another Merdeka celebration and a heightened one thanks to the contributions of our Olympians, what is this ‘Johor Belah’ issue?

I don’t see a Palestinian issue. Nor a potato-famined Irish issue, nor a Papua New Guinea, a Montenegro, or even an India-Pakistan issue in today’s Johor.

But Brexit did make me think of a possible Johor Belah movement. I suppose too that the recent passing of the National Security Council Act by the Najib Abdul Razak egime, besides to institute a stronger system of federal control over the opposition forces and a brace if there were a Malaysian war on domestic and IS-inspired terror, is to prepare for a ‘Johor Belah’ kind of situation.

In this world of the rapidisation of technology, of chaos and complexity, of massive global changes, and the instability of the nation state... of the ‘dromological’ version of politics (the fast-paced, blitzkrieg, and often violence and maniac-producing changes,) instruments of control such as the NSC will be used to deal with secession movements, besides being a reincarnation of a post-Mageran post-May 13, 1969 ideological state apparatus for any sane government that understands Machiavellian-Bismarckian-Reality-TV politics.

That would be a logical response by any government for that matter. Else - given a Scottish scenario and a choice of this or that nation or bangsa, everybody would want to leave - Sabah, Sarawak, Kelantan, maybe Penang, or even the one-traffic-light-and-many-minyak-gamat-factories-heavenly-indera kayangan state of Perlis would want to leave, not just Johor.

Where would Perlis go if not to be magically absorbed into the Siamese state, with Setoi or Satun as a new capital?

When and if everybody leaves, only Putrajaya will be left governing itself and become a Vatican, power to the religious police and all. That will not be a good thing for Malaysia, Truly Asia any more.

So - that could be a scenario, Brexit inspiring Johor Belah but Putrajaya responding to any request of leaving by saying: “Boleh belah”. (no way you’re exiting, Jose;) and the federation will be restored as in The Star Wars movie - as a happy ending, the Union is preserved. Darth Vader is defeated. Long Live Obi Wan Kenobi. Long Live Cik Siti Wan Kembang.

But I still think that Bota Kanan and Botan Kiri in Perak should be called OneBota city. It has been confusing for the pre-Neanderthal Perak man who walked all the way from Africa, to still be standing puzzled at the rainbow crossing. Before there was Rolling Stones, there was the Strolling Bones - our own Malayan pre-Neanderthal Perak man, step-son of the Greek God Zeus.

Pray not for a domino-effect Malaysia-Exit.

Post-1957 Malaysian Union

Yes, we must preserve the new, post-1957-Malaysian Union. We love Malaysia more than anyone yelling for an independent movement of Bangsa Johor; yelling in a football stadium for now at least.

Anything can happen - for Malaysians love to imitate movements. I hate one day to wake up in my old age, strolling bones and all, to see this beloved country broken and fragmented like Ramli Sarip’s ‘a million faces’ in that Sweet Charity’s rock kapak song (Lagu Kapak Stone ‘Sejuta Wajah’). Each state might get the idea of Brexit and that's it! The reason for leaving might just be as lame as an ostrich running around Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman.

Imagine:

JOHOR leaving to marry Singapore and solve the water problem and get discounts on lychees,

PAHANG wanting to become an Orange Bauxite state, and merge with Planet Mars;

PERAK wanted to be free as she feels that there is enough space for everybody to build a house (in Dinding, Lumut, Bota Kanan, Bota Kiri, Mambang di Awan, or even high above the Jering tree);

NEGRI SEMBILAN asking for a nine-state referendum, each state has a flag and 10 A&W restaurants;

MALACCA wishing to have her own Kesultanan Malacca again with Ayahanda Kipidap-Karipap as maharaja;

TRENGGANU wishing to turn everything into a crystal state, and kepok lekor will be world-famous;

KELANTAN, God willing, will be a land of purity and a Darul Hudud, and more deforestation will happen;

SELANGOR wishing to be richer and richer and wanting independence as a BugisLand and a boogie-oogie wonderland;

KEDAH planning to go back to the glories of Bujang Valley and use Merong Mahawangsa as the state private jet;

PENANG and Tanjung III Succession Project to make the island as vibrant and free as Monaco, and hey;

PERLIS will want to leave the Earth altogether to live in the clouds... and there will be a stadium up there in the clouds in Padang Melangit; the state ruled by heavenly bodies.

IMAGINE... IMAGINE... and of course Sabah and Sarawak are real serious Borneoxit.

What will Putrajaya do?

I am now scared. Aren’t you? Because I love Malaysia more than any Bangsa-else. I believe in strengthening the federation and living close to the spirit of the living and evolving constitution.

I will belah now. You folks please share your views. I am watching Datuk Chong Wei’s videos now. Reminding me of the Towkay - Soh Chin Aun and singer Andre Goh, and our lovely gangsta years of the sewel but still sensible seventies.

Long live Bangsa Malaysia! We just need a national resurrection for now. We need to weed out the corrupt, the power abusers, the bigots of all shapes of mind, and the robber barons.

DR AZLY RAHMAN grew up in Johor Baru, Malaysia and holds a Columbia University (New York City) doctorate in International Education Development and Masters degrees in the fields of Education, International Affairs, Peace Studies and Communication. He will be pursuing his fifth Masters in Fine Arts, specialising in Fiction and Poetry Writing. He has taught more than 50 courses in six different departments and has written more than 350 analyses/essays on Malaysia. His 25 years of teaching experience in Malaysia and the United States spans over a wide range of subjects, from elementary to graduate education. He has edited and authored six books; Multiethnic Malaysia: Past, Present, Future (2009), Thesis on Cyberjaya: Hegemony and Utopianism in a Southeast Asian State (2012), The Allah Controversy and Other Essays on Malaysian Hypermodernity (2013), Dark Spring: Essays on the Ideological Roots of Malaysia's General Elections-13 (2013), a first Malay publication Kalimah Allah Milik Siapa?: Renungan dan Nukilan Tentang Malaysia di Era Pancaroba (2014), and Controlled Chaos: Essays on Mahathirism, Multimedia Super Corridor and Malaysia’s ‘New Politics’ (2014). He currently resides in the United States where he teaches courses in Education, Philosophy, Cultural Studies, Political Science, and American Studies. His forthcoming book, One Malaysia, under God, Bipolar, a joint project between Gerakbudaya and World Wise Books of New Jersey, USA, is his seventh compilation of essays on Malaysian Cultural, Creative, and Critical Studies. He is currently working on his eighth book, on Gifted and Talented Education in Malaysia, honouring a prominent educator. Twitter, blog